Well it has been decided

The last few weeks have been an absolute shocker. My only consolation is my dear friends and acquaitances are in a similar situation - I am sure it is winter that is doing it. As I previously posted, I was contemplating going to a new meeting with my girls Tina and Tania. I have thought about it long and hard, got a lovely email from Tania who despite her own issues at present, made me decide. With going to a new meeting one of the negatives is that it is a way to travel, but as Tania said, I think it is worth it. I have decided to go next Tuesday to Mawson Lakes with Tania and Tina and my friend Karen is contemplating going. I know the leader is great, apparently the class is great and interactive, I get support from 2 friends and possibly a third. It comes an event and not just a WW Meeting, plus we have a skinny latte after. I have decided basically, if I want my life to change - then I need to do it. I can't keep going on and on about the same stuff, complaining I am unhappy, fat, have sore feet etc if I fail to act upon it. There is no crime in being selfish. I can set my interim goal again to the 4 consecutive losses and then get my Lorna Jane bag. I suppose I have just realised that it comes down to me, we all know that, but at the end of the day I need to get my mindset in gear. I am lucky my friends Tania and Tina are wonderful, kind and considerate girls that I know will be there for me. I find I need the support of like minded people, what I mean is people that have previously or are undergoing weight loss issues that understand my pain. I would like to think that Mawson Lakes would be source of inspiration. I would like to star this journey on the right foot, in that my measurement will be taken shortly, a photo (I have that horrid one I posted the other day) as my before and think I need to mentally prepare myself. I suppose it is like a drug addict in a way, I need to do this for myself and after all, no one can do it for me. I want to be the best person I can be, instead of feeling ashamed all the time. I want to be organised at home, this weekend is preparation Weight Watchers. I have a friend over for lunch on Father's Day (my date lives interstate) and want to stock the freezer etc and be organised, if I am organised with the house, everything else falls into place. I am luck the gym is sorted so that is not something I need to worry about.

Another bloody birthday !

Well, the diet is out the window and I am depressed, they are linked. Friday night I went out to dinner at a Thai Restaurant which was lovely. Went with the WW online girls namely Melissa (from Sydney), Amanda, Jo S, Tina L, and myself. I got the serious doldrums when I posted the photo (see previous blog entry) and knew that if I went out to dinner the girls would be supportive and helpful. These girls I meet online and are part of the WW Support Group facebook page, they have become friends and we see each other a few times a year in person. Melissa had lost 32 ish kilograms and so I picked her brain about everything, she exercises a lot so she advised me that she eats a lot of her exercise points, she has that mental strength now and I so admire anyone that is in the zone. The other girls, god bless them, have had their struggles like me, I came out of the dinner in a better state of mind. The photo rocked me as I thought I looked great. Saturday rang out and got jobs done, had the nails done and nursed a 5 week old baby for 2 hours at my nail salon. The mother of the baby is suffering PND and so my nail lady is helping out. It was lovely. Sunday was the birthday, woke in tears and went to bed in tears. Had lunch with my best friend Joanne who always always puts such thought into her present and we had a long lesuirely lunch and then over to see the niece and nephews. It wasnt the best birthday, I am glad it is over. A lot if it becomes down to the big three - being fat - it doesn't matter how well groomed I am, being single and wanting children. I define my life by these three. What I learnt yesterday is friends like my best mate Joanne Galpin will always be there and be my rock and in my corner Back to Friday night, whilst at dinner my dear friend Tina had said she and Tania (who was unfortunately sick and unable to attend) thought i had been struggling because i had not been posting etc. How right they are. They made a suggestion, that I come to their meeting and we can support each other. Although it is out my way, I can bring the car into work on a Tuesday and drive to Mawson Lakes (15 minutes from work) and on the way home it is around 35 -40 minutes, somehow I think it will be worth it. The boss has left for Paris today, so this week I intend to get back into the swing of things with the gym, although tonight I want to go home and organise myself for the week. This time of year and the wet and cold Winter we have had, always gets everyone down. I suppose I just need to work out what I want, if I want to change my life, then I have to do it. At present I am wanting to spend more and more time at home, very unlike me and I suppose that is because I am feeling somewhat down and feeling like a fat balloon. Those that know me, know that I put effort into my appearance but how I feel inside is now starting to effect me. I might do a drive out to Mawson Lakes and see how long it takes etc. Take care everyone.

Why I need to get serious ! Picture says it all

This photo was taken on 14/8/10 at Mum's 70th. Have been missing as I have had a few weekend away and working, thus eating shockingly. Going to Weigh in tomorrow and need to get serious. The boss is away for a month, so will be able to post a bit more regularly. Look at the stomach ! Yikes.............

Thursday update

Well, I did a mighty workout on Wednesday, my normal weights program – quite tough but will get there, plus my cardio. I went even though I was utterly exhausted. Sleep didn’t happen last night, the gym certainly does not help the insomnia. Today’s eating hasn’t been as spot on as the other days, but I am still going to the gym tonight but will have an early night if I can. Thursday I was tired and out of sorts. My eating wasn’t great on Thursday – this is what happens when I am tired. I didn’t go to the gym last night, I found t hat I needed sleep more. As much as I adore the gym, during the week it is work, gym and sleep. Nothing gets done and I find that by the weekend the house is a bit ratty and needs a bit of TLC. Not much else to report really, a girl from Weight Watchers Lifestyle Centres who hadn’t seen me at the gym for a while commented on my face and how I had lost weight in it, I said when I get to goal weight what I will show people is perseverance. Weigh in tomorrow, hopefully a good result. Will report in tomorrow. .

4-8-10 update

Well, it is raining and absolutely freezing cold in Adelaide today. Quite frankly it is ridiculous that I have to work ! J. I could quite easily spend the day in bed with the electric blanket on and cuddled up to Vince the wonderdog and he gazing at me like I am the best person he has ever seen. It is a lovefest with Vince and I – that little doggie makes my life complete and gives me unconditional love. Now if I could only find a man that loves me that much.

My Aunt had her dog put down yesterday. Dear Max was 15 years old and suffering all types of illnesses, it is so hard to be of comfort when you are crying yourself. I wasn’t a very good support person. I did remind her that he is in a much better place with all our relatives (both from the doggie world and human world).

Went for a walk with my friend Gill for 60 minutes. My feet today are killing me today, when I walk for that long and that hard I find my hip, inner thigh just ache and the feet unbearable – all signs that I must get my act into gear and get those bloody orthotics plus another absolute reason why I need to shed this weight once and for all. My friend Kazz has just got orthotics and they have made a huge difference to her. So must get to my health provider and find out how much the gap is going to be and just organise them instead of talking about it.

So far this week the exercise is good, so pleased with that and the routine I have with exercise, as a matter of course I go to the gym after work and on Tuesday I walk with Gill for 60 minutes.

Food wise, all is well and tracking every morsel of food that passes my lips. Certainly it is good to feel that you are doing well, it doesn’t take much to get back into the routine of good eating – sometimes I feel that when things are in place with food and exercise then everything else in my life is okay as well.

Off to the gym tonight, an experiment with doing my full 45 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes of weight at an increased level.

Hope everyone is having a successful week as well. I am sure that I have done everything okay this week, the scales will make up their own mind when I get on them, a good week doesn’t always reflect on the scales, so fingers crossed.

Another great day in my world !!!!

Well, yesterday I went to the gym and did my new weights program, half the time of the other one but I did feel those muscle working. I must admit attending the gym does make me mentally so much better. Not much happening really, today has been a quiet day, I have really been good with the tracking, and having excellent food days always makes me feel happier. The only area of improvement really is the water. Tonight I walk with my friend Gill for an hour, we walk along the esplanade at the beach and it is good to get the fresh air into your lungs. Although I am doing well with the exercise, the world’s best dog Vincenzo hasn’t been walked for ages – I feel a tad guilty so am trying to get up early and walk him even for 15 minutes. So overall excellent on all fronts. I thought I had defrosted lentil soup for lunch but unfortunately defrosted a lentil/mince type WW recipe – although it was marked Lentil, so taking that home for dinner with some vegies. Once you are back on track, it is amazing how good you feel. I think only gaining 300 grams has really inspired me, the fact that I obviously was doing something right is a miracle. The plan is for the next 4 weeks (in conjunction with our WW class goal of 2kgs over the next 4 weeks) is to once and for all get that bloody Lorna Jane gym bag. Report in tomorrow.

Weigh in results and reasonably happy

Well, I finally got to my regular WW meeting. It had been some 3 weeks since I last went all because of the foot/stitches fiasco. As I had admitted in the last blog, I had eaten the wrong foods, mainly sugar related and accordingly I expected a bad result with a gain of 1kg to 2kg. Also with my period also due on the day of weigh in, I wasn’t expecting great things. To my surprise only a gain of 300 grams which is nothing really and with my period due I was surprised. So I was quite pleased with myself and the process of weighing in at my meeting is so motivating. So what I thought was a large hiccup is only a slight one and this is only my first gain.

Have had my weights program at the gym re-worked and quite different from my last one, so hopefully it works well.

I can’t find my measurements on my computer at home so going to have to start again but will put them at the back of my gym book.

Not much else to report really, all good and really I am happy to say back in the groove, gym tonight and home for a nice steak and vegies.

The focus this week is to track, exercise and drink my water, I am hoping for a reasonably good loss this week. Our leader has set us a challenge to lose 2kgs in the next four weeks – absolutely doeable.

I have a personal belief that it doesn't matter what you are doing, if you can try and be positive then positive things happen. Went today into my favourite shop TS14 as they are having an unbelievable sale, the sales assistant told me that I made her day, the fact I looked bright (wearing pink and pink patterned pashmina) and I always look happy. I told her that looks can be deceiving but I felt good that someone bothered to say something nice to me. Overall doing really well, I am realistic that weight loss takes time, effort and a good deal of mental strength, I am not worried how much I lose each week, as long as I lose.