Sorry for being missing in action

Now where to start !

The kitchen has gone in and looks fabulous, I am very excited. My beautiful Dad removed the old kitchen, re-tiled the new kitchen with very large fabulous tiles and painted. He will be back with Mum on the 24th to paint the lounge and my laundry. It is just so nice to have a great new kitchen although I haven't used the oven yet (as it is no nice and new I don’t want to dirty it !). I will post soon the new kitchen photos.

He was down for 2 weeks and at the end I didn’t want him to leave, considering I have lived by myself since the age of 22 and am now 46 years of age, that is pretty good going.

Now with Weight Watchers, lost 1kg this fortnight (didn’t go last week as I had a doctor’s appointment). The week before that my blasted TTOM was due so a gain of 1.4 kilos. At least it is down from the last TTOM gain of 2.2 ! The plan was to do a fast track, low processed food the week my period is due, with one thing and another it didn’t happen but as it is due again in another 17 days I will ensure that I monitor carefully that week my food so that I can secure a loss. I may try and fit in a few more exercise sessions that week, if I can get out of bed earlier. I refuse to buy myself that Lorna Jane gym bag until I have had 4 losses in a row – period or no period. I know I can lose when TTOM is due.

My leader has been away so I saw Lachie – a young buff leader who lost about 35 kilos, he was really direct and we talked about TTOM and what I plan to do – he also suggested that week to go organic. A totally different attitude but saying that he is very helpful as far as questions re exercise goes.

With Dad down I didn’t go to the gym for 2 weeks, purely as he was home working and I felt uncomfortable with that, I must admit to really missing it and it made me realise that it does relax me and puts me in a good frame of mind, I think that as I sweat and work hard that I am doing what a lot of people don’t do, that is exercise – I know all the girls that are dieting, following Weight Watchers or the like exercise but I know a lot of people that do not exercise, so I am personally proud that I do this. I can see my shape changing and must remember to measure myself again and see how I go.

Went to see my specialist about my lung, he really didn’t answer my questions despite lots of tests with large gap fees, he told me to keep exercising and ensure my fitness is increased – no drama with that. He told me perhaps my shape wasn’t helping – ie. I am in need of losing weight. He suggested about 10 – 15 kilos. What was interesting when I underwent these tests in 2003 and now in 2010 I am exactly the same weight and in 2003 I had not breathing difficulties. Obviously I only told Mum that he said to keep my fitness up, she asked about the weight – I didn’t comment as I didn’t need the stress or anxiety associated with it. Phoebe on the biggest loser reminds me of me, last night she had a makeover and commented the more her mother told or tried to help her diet the more she ate, the message is that I am the only one that can do this, if I am not in the right mindset – then it doesn’t matter what I follow nothing will help. I am lucky that I am patient and that I am happy with how this year has gone, my attitude is that I haven’t given up. I do notice the correlation between exercise and constant weight loss, the fact that I walked for years has made me realise that unless we are absolutely power walking and pushing ourselves, a leisurely stroll won’t work.

So overall, things going well – I am focused on just doing what I am doing, although I need to increase my water and fruit intake – somehow the water is a bit of a struggle so I must focus on this.

I have read a lot of blogs lately, I might not be exactly where I want to be but I am more times than not being quite good, I know with exercise at my gym that with what I eat that I can lose with consistently, as long as I work out what to do that 4^th week when TTOM is due.

Anyway everyone, that is me for the time being – I plan to update daily as I need at night to write my exercise details in a log, I am seriously thinking of buying a polar heart rate monitor to monitor the calories burned etc – must look into that.

Martine xxx

Update coming

Sorry fans, have been missing in action. Long post will be done tonight

This week has been tough !

What a week, I can't wait for 5pm Friday. As you are aware Dad is down painting and removing my old kitchen. The house is a war zone and covered in drop cloths, dust and contents of cupboards everywhere. There has been some delays in the painting so the kitchen/dining and hallway are getting done and the other rooms on an adhoc basis when Dad comes down from Broken Hill. Next trip 24/4/10 where he will do the lounge room. I am impatient to get the entire house done and so can't be despondent that it won't all be achieved. We have eaten out most of the week as I have no kitchen and Dad eats differently to me. Last night was fasta pasta and I didnt make a good choice and with TOM due soon (my emotions are everywhere at present) I am not sure if I am going to secure a loss this week or not. So Tuesday back into the groove of things as Dad is staying till then and I can get back to the gym and my food program. One thing I have noticed is that because I have missed attending the gym this week and part of last week I don't feel as in control emotionally. I had been reading another blog of a successful slimmer that has lost 45 kilos out of the 90 that she has to lose, she was saying she wants to go 5-6 times a week as it just helps her keep on track and not over analyse things. Mothers - I adore mine but sometimes she is tactless. I am undergoing tests for a lung condition I have and had an ECG yesterday and a lung function test on Monday with my specialist appointment on Monday at 4.30pm where I get the results of the huge amount of tests I have and how we proceed in treating the problem. Dad is staying down for that appointment and as I was discussing this with mum she says "the doctor may say something about your weight". Honest to god, I was furious. Everything in my life that goes wrong this women puts down to my weight. Of course we all know we are overweight but as a size 18-20 women I take great great pride in my appearance and am always dressed well and with what is in fashion together with classic pieces, my hair is always styled and my nails and makeup always done plus there is a lot more to me than a body. We are more than bodies. I am trying to reinforce this to my niece as well. I know I am overweight, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that out but my friends don't see me as overweight- just Martine. Anyway, no bloody idea how I am going tomorrow, I always gain but we will have to wait and see. Overall I will be just so delighted to have a new kitchen newly painted by the best man in the world (other than the wonderdog Vince) my Dad Dennis and next week back into my routine again, what bliss. Oh by the way I need to say this. God was a man - why is it that us women suffer from PMS and periods, if a male went through this you would never hear the end of it.

Where did that weekend go

Well the weekend has been and gone. Eating was difficult, the kitchen is in various stages of demolition and dust everywhere. Had a pasty on Saturday for lunch and it was bloody bliss, I have never enjoyed something so much. Yesterday I had Master A's 10th birthday so this Aunty headed up to Mt Osmond for Pizza and birthday cake, I at least turned down wine. The plan this week is to drink lots of water, try and be as organised as I can with food and not stress out. My beautiful father is painting and removing tiles so it has been nice to have one on one with him, Mum missing him so there has been numerous telephone calls to home. Dad this morning was talking to Vince the wonderdog, and said to him "Vince, come outside with Pop" - I don't have kids so he treated him like a kind of grand-dog. So the count down is on till Friday when the kitchen goes in, everything will need to be washed thorough and put back into the cupboards on Friday night. Then hopefully do a spring clean and then get back to my normal routine. Not much else to report, eating wasn't great on the weekend and I need to be really focused this week so that I don't gain considering TTOM is due soon. Be good girls and boys and speak later on. Martinexxx

Another 600 grams down - Bravo for consistency !!

Well today is weigh in day. As my home scales are not used, I try to base how I am going by the following;

1. My food intake (via tracker)
2. My water intake
3. My exercise intake
4. The amount of sugar foods/processed foods I eat
5. The rolls on my stomach (better than any tape measure)

Due to the fact that so much is happening in my life, not just with me but my parents and the new kitchen going in this week saw not as much exercise and probably a few days where I didn't eat enough or there was too long a time frame between eating. Normally I get on the scales and have no idea. Today another 600 grams went down. This year has seen huge changes in my weight loss journey. The firm hand of my leader at Christmas was a turning point, after spending 4 months mourning the loss of my other leader Don (who resigned) I struggled and used this as an excuse, Di who I know from one of my previous WW journeys was firm and strong. Basically she told me to focus.

This year has seen consistent losses, except the TTOM gain of 2.2 which I still don't understand One of my goals this year was consistent losses, they mentally give me confidence. I think the gym has been absolutely vital to the losses this year. I now realise that the walking wasnt enough, I have heard this before but now I am at the gym and working hard I realise I never sweated whilst walking. I go to the gym for the stress relief, it is a bonus it actually aids in weight loss.

Next WI sees TTOM due again, the plan this month is that for this next week to eat whole foods, try not to have any processed food - even Ham and drink lots of water. It may take a few months to work out how I can get through this time of the month without a gain. I am determined next week to have a 100gram loss and then I can officially get my Lorna Jane gym bag.

I go to WW at the Myer Centre (their lifestyle centres) as I have said numerous times before it allows me to talk about my issues, this week it was about TTOM and how I can now see the gym is helping. We also talked about how for me (I am fairly social) the gym is a friendly place where I know people and can say hello. Doing the bodyjam class (still am in shock I have done them) has allowed me not to be so scared of other classes. I want to try RPM as apparently it is great for burning those calories and I don't need to be co-ordinated. I still plan to do Bodyjam classes.

In March the gym is re-organising a new classes timetable, my friend and I are going to try and co-ordinate a class together - now that I am the brave one and not so terrified (well only a bit).

Today at my WI we also talked about how some weeks (like last and next) that time is not always available to go to the gym. My leader Di and fellow leader Lachlan (that is another story in itself) told me not to beat myself up if I can't get there, sometimes this happens and just to try and concentrate on the incidental exercise.

WW have a new pedometer, it is a motion pedometer and apparently is fabulous. It does the following:-.

recording accuracy - steps recorded during any exercise are more acurate. 3 intensity levels mode. Quite step detection - the digital technology discreetly tracks your steps taken. Step filter - the pedometer will only count steps after 5 continuous steps are taken. Motivational software - the pedometer counts down the steps and time required until you reach your next POINTS® bonus

So the plan is this week that even if I don't get to the gym that I try and focus on the incidental exercise. Once the Lorna Jane Bag challenge (hopefully next week) is achieved then I will focus on setting myself 10,000 steps at least 3 times a week to start off with.

Well, so overall I am pleased that the losses are consistent, it gives you confidence that what you are doing is right. The gym has allowed me not to concentrate on Weight Watchers or my food so intently and the fact I concentrate on the gym gives my life a better balance.

Lachlan the other leader told me today he lost 35kgs, he is a young spunk and pretty knowledgeable about fitness, so he will see me in 3 weeks time for my Weigh in when Di goes on leave. Anyway darling people, must go and get some sleep, Vince the wonderdog needs to be at the grooming salon at 8am.

Martine xx

Making myself the most important person

I was reading Bitch Cake's blog (http://msbitchcakes.blogspot.com) and some of her previous posts. On post in particular made reference to making yourself the most important person. It got me thinking, if I can't make myself No 1 who will? I need to do whatever I can to achieve this, I think doing what is right for me and not everyone else is a start. This week if making my life a bit easier by missing the gym a few nights in the next week -the world will not fall apart, at the moment having home organised is much more important, the reason for this is that if I don't do this my insomnia is worse than ever, my mind never switches off. The joys of being Virgo and last night I am sending off emails at 4am - still trying to get some quality sleep. Therefore, today I am exhausted. The food this week has been okay, if anything probably not having the 5 food groups enough but persevering till the kitchen goes in next Friday and my life becomes normal again. WI tomorrow, so see how we go. The joys of being on Weight Watchers is that I can cook for Dad and myself next week and still track what I eat and point it, ideal for someone that is trying to keep this journey a little secretive, just for the moment. Once the new kitchen arrives and is installed I plan to have a few dinner parties, so trying to search through various blogs, websites and my WW cookbooks for some good recipes. Dessert is another thing and No I wont due a fruit platter, make a mousse with evaporated milk or use Pavlova Shells. These are just too ordinary for this girl. At present to top off my busy life, work, gym, home, new kitchen etc I am now organising Mum's 70th, so will be spending lunch times ringing interstate and trying to work out venues etc. I love a bit of pressure, at least I have the outfit I want to wear as I got it on sale at Christmas and is my favourite brand TS. Vince the wonderdog is going to the boarding kennell next Thursday, my normal one is no longer doing boarding - it is a vet's surgery and they walk the dogs twice daily, so trying a new vet. I am reminding myself that Vince the wonderdog is a dog, he is not a child but a dog and Mummy can deal with this, it is easier whilst the kitchen is being installed and the insulation put in. He will be stressed and so will I. Note to self - "Martine, he is a dog". Must get back and do some work, will report in tomorrow after WI. Martine xx

I am time poor

Well this week isn't going to badly but I am time poor. The kitchen is going in next week and Dad is coming down Friday for a week to do stuff, I am so excited to have him to myself and Mum is staying home so she can just chill out. I think I will feel happier once next Friday has arrived and I am back to normal, plus getting insulation installed and trying to fit in with Dad being down - it is annoying when you live by yourself and work 9 to 5 and all tradesman etc work only 9 to 5. AHHHHHHH !! Have probably under eaten this week which I know is a bad thing but just haven't felt like it, plus last night and tonight not going to the gym as I have had things on, I feel slightly guilty but it is all about balance, sometimes I just need to do other things.

I actually feel quite anxious this week, I am hoping that once everything sorts itself out at home etc then I will feel better. St Valentines Day came and as previously posted I thought I would be depressed and was going to the gym, then at 9.15am a box of a dozen red roses was delivered - I nearly passed out ! They are from Michael and are just beautiful, I just wish the man would commit and tell me how he feels. It is so frustrating at times. Work is busy at present and so this has just added to things, but thankfully I love my job so that makes life easier. Must dash but just a quick post to let you know what happening in my world. Martine xxxx

Another 800 grams down

Well here we are again, weigh in day. The day has been frantic, I didnt drink enough water and I am hot. I am unsure if I am just hot because I am hot and that does come from being overweight or the fact that I am going through menopause. I hope it is not the latter.

I haven't weighed myself at home the last few weeks, mainly I have tried to allow myself to just focus on my food, water and exercise intake. You never know how you are going to go on the scales, usually my guide is my stomach - my very worst part of my body, if I lose the rolls change ! Yay for me 800 grams down so pleased with that. I feel that with the gym and what I am doing food wise 700 - 800 grams is pretty easily achieveable which I am happy with as anything over 500 grams for me is a good loss.

Overall this has given me the incentive to keep doing what I am doing, another loss next week is what I am after Went to the gym tonight after my WI and although I only did 1/2 my cardio it was a night i didnt necessarily need to go to the gym and being a Friday night I am usually flexible and not to tough on myself if I don't go. Going tomorrow morning at 7am (if I can get out of bed) and do my full cardio which is around 50 minutes now (with warmup) and then 40 minutes of weights.

This weekend having a pretty quiet one, tomorrow just need to go to the library and do some stuff around home before Dad arrives to paint.

Valentines Day I no doubt will be depressed so will try and get up and go to the gym early and that way it does put me mentally in the right frame of mind. I am blessed with a great circle of friends and like my mother my friends are so important, I remind myself that not everyone has this and not having a partner is not the end of the world. Saying that, I plan to get this weight off and allow myself to be more confident.

Did anyone see Biggest Loser tonight? What about Alison Braun ! I couldnt get over the difference and how thin she was 63 kgs - she looked so tiny on TV, the change was remarkable and it just makes me realise at times we all hide behind our weight.

This week socially is quiet (thank god !) other than dinner for Joey's birthday on Tuesday night it is pretty free, luckily I have looked at the menu for alternatives other than a warm chicken salad - I am so past them, I have had so many during this weight loss journey I can't stand the sight of them lol !! I have made the choice not to drink during the week, as much as I love a glass of good wine I am able to easily go out and say no to wine and sit on a sparkling mineral water easily, at least this is one vice I can handle.

Today on the way home I have been thinking about what it takes to lose weight - the more I discover what works the more I am aware that having the mental edge is everything. Mum has her 70th on 14/8/10 and Dad's 70th on 8/6/10 so both of these events are little goals for me to set myself.

I think the balance of food and exercise is working well, it allows me not to obsess about one or the other and allows my thought patterns to find a pattern.

So the week ahead I am focused on another 700 grams, I am happy with that and I am sure that this can easily be achieved. I don't need to lose 1.5 kgs a week but to be within the range of 500 grams to 1kg as recommended by WW is good for me. These losses of late are good for me in that they are consistent (other than that 2.2 kg gain a few weeks ago that I am at loss to know what it is about other than TOM but a huge amount).

The shops are now stocking Easter Eggs ! I refuse to look at them and tell myself over and over "they are poison" I just don't want to get the taste for them, luckily enough hot cross buns have been in the shops since Boxing Day but they don't rock my world !

My goal this week is water, water, water - I must remember to bloody drink the stuff. I just forget !

Martine xxxxx

Weigh in day tomorrow

Well I survived another session of Body Jam, I wasn't as nervous but still self conscious. Thankfully I wasnt the newbie this week and only a few of us where there last week for the new program. The instructor advised me that I did better. They say it only takes a few weeks to get hold of the movements, I don't know about that - I say at least 4. But I came back, now I am contemplating the world of RPM classes. Weigh in tomorrow, as I haven't been weighing myself at home, I don't know how I am going but looking forward to a loss. I am quite proud of myself for allowing myself to be relaxed about this journey, I don't feel I am putting too much pressure on myself and don't feel I need to spend hours each day exercising, I have spoken with quite a few experts and they all agree. I pack my gear each night for gym, I had set myself an initial goal of 3-4 times a week, if I go more that is a bonus, normally I do go more but that is purely as it relaxes me and it is a good way to switch off after work and before going home. My only problem is that after I finish my workout I have absolutely no appetite which is difficult as it does you more harm than good to not eat enough. The kitchen table debarcle is sorted out, I think ! A little Italian guy came around and can make the table shorter, sand down and file the edges to made the other edges and make an top that I can put on the table to use an extension table. It saves me a lot of money, he ringing through tomorrow with a quote, one guy told me I wouldnt be able to get anyone to do it, funny about that - this guy has done it before and knew what he was talking about. Dad has ordered the paint for the painting, good ole Dad. I slept in this morning, actually slept through the alarm which is a minor miracle as I don't sleep at all, mornings are not my strong suit, I would love to get up a couple of mornings early but I think I am kidding myself. Valentines Day on Sunday, I am going to the gym in the morning purely to get my mind off the woe is me attitude I know I will have, I know it is commercial but I can say that when I am by myself. This week I have a pretty free week socially, which is good as I have too many bills to pay, plan to try a few new recipes out and cook a few meals for the freezer for when Dad comes down to paint. Overall I am doing reasonably okay, I get a little impatient at times but realise that this will be a long journey, I just need to keep having good weeks and eventually the hard work will catch up. I can reasonably easily loose 700 grams a week, if I could keep this up I would be happy. Have a good day. Love Martine xx

Bodyjam class No 2

Well this week has been a weird week. Emotionally felt a bit flat but food okay. The negative is my water intake. Tonight sees me doing my second bodyjam class, I am not as terrified now and think I will make this a regular Wednesday night session, I plan to review my weights program after and the following week review my cardio levels. I am putting in a new kitchen and as much as it is exciting it is so stressful. Now my table is too big and so I need to match a new table to my dresser that I have in the kitchen, of course I can't match the colour so having to get it made. But people don't make chairs, can get a table made but no chairs. Honestly !! Luckily my beautiful Dad is coming down to paint the entire unit - he is a star. Not much else happening, I have been a bit slack with the tracking, although have tracked the points in my head each day, next week I must start to tracking in my food journal what I eat, always good to do this. Hope everyone is having a good day, it is damn hot in Adelaide.

Just call me bodyjam girl !

So much has happened since my last post. It is 11.13pm at night, my little darling Vince the wonderdog is at my friend's place. She is depressed at present and needs someone to love, would desperately love a dog but unsure how she would handle it, so Vince is going to Joey's tonight and comes back Sunday. He is in good hands but his mummy is missing him already and it has only been an hour !

After my good efforts on Australia Day (26/2/10) I went to WW last Friday 29/1/10 and got on the scales, that TOM was due but I thought that I would get a 300 gram loss though. Got on the scales and my leader Di told me 2.2kgs, I said that is a good loss. She said "no Martine it is a gain" lol !! Not impressed at all, and annoying that because of it I haven't achieved my 4 losses in a row challenge, I could say becuase it is my period it doesn't count but I am not having this, so the challenge will need to be started again.

What was interesting is that I didn't cry, didn't think I was a failure or anything like that. I accept it was a gain and a large one, I accept the weight has gone on, there is nothing I can do about it but move on. That in itself is a good thing.

My niece arrived last Friday from Broken Hill, we shopped till we dropped and I realised that at a smaller size there is just more sale items I can wear. My niece Miss S is an overweight child of 14, as someone how has had weight issues as an adult and the consequences of family thinking they are helping my going on about my weight, I reinforced to her during our coffee breaks that we ALL are more than bodies, there is a lot more to us than the physical. It made me look at my own life and again my mother's saying that I have adopted "You are the master of your own destiny", weight loss is the same, the journey of losing 50 odd kilos is in my hands.

The week I thought was good, Miss S flew back Sunday night and I wish I wore a pedometre as I would hate to think of how many steps we did, I certainly would have earned quite a few as basically we did 2 full days of shopping from 9am to 5pm.

The gym routine is going well, I realise it is a stress release for me and haven't had the mentality that I need to live and breathe the place, I now want to be there more and more but go for the stress relief and not becuase of weight loss, I think if you continually think you need to be there to lose weight I am sure you are asking for trouble in the long term, of course that is a bonus that we burn those calories.

The week before last i meet another instructor for some strange reason she had me convinced I should try a Body Jam class, so this Wednesday I go along. I get changed and am nearly ready to burst into tears because I was so nervous and self conscious. As we were waiting for the step class to finish so that we could go into the room, I meet again the instructor and we chatted, I told her I was about to faint from fear, she laughed. What was nice as there was a lot of us waiting she advised us all that with Body Jam that night it was a new program. She asked which people had never been and there were 4 and who was nervous (there were many) and I think it was for my benefit, that is the pure and simple reason I love the gym - the staff have been hand picked specifically and thoroughly. As we were waiting another girl Jess No 2 arrived who I have got to know at the class, she held my hand. It was hard and i am no hip hop dancer but god I gave it a go and when I looked around the class 98% of the class were struggling. As I walked to my car i meet a couple of other girls who are regulars, luckily they said the new class was hard and they would be there next week. At least I have people I know. I am so brave and this was such a momentous occassion for me, my fear of being self conscious and an embarrassement to myself has always been an issue, as much as I wast TERRIFIED I bloody well did it.

Tonight I went to WW and lost 700 grams, I thought it would be more but today's discussion was firstly about my bodyjam class and secondly the long periods between my meals. This has been discussed before and as I eat breakfast at 7am, lunch at 1.30pm and then dinner between 7.40 and 8pm (depending what time I leave the gym and what I am doing at the gym) the gap between lunch and dinner is too large, so I need to eat, go figure I think as I am burning up bonus points I am told that I need to eat all my daily points and eat an afternoon snack around 4-5pm. So I am concentrating on that. I think with the benefit of eating more regularly the weight loss might be harder.

Although I realise missing meals or not eating enough is just as bad as eating too much it still to this day amazes me that I need to eat more. I am simply not hungry between meals or for that point when I get home from the gym - I am never hungry but will work on it this week and see how I next Friday with the weight loss.

Luckily I only have 1 social function on and I have worked out the meal I am having (thankfully everything is online these days) so I am hoping with hard work a good loss will result.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Martine

Today is body jam day !

I will report in tonight but today is my first venture into the world of classes, as you know I go to the gym and do my weights and cardio and now starting a bodyjam class. I am terrified out of my mind but I can do this. A long updated post will be done tonight after bodyjam. Martine xx

Do I have one of those faces !

I have another post have drafted but wanted to post this quickly. . Was at the gym last night, and hadn't been for 4 days as I had family staying with me. Was tired and cranky (because TOM due tomorrow) and mother driving me mental (god love her, that is her job !!) and a trainer chatted to me. Now this is the 2nd one that has befriended me, is it because I am large? or just have one of those faces. She tried to convince me to go to the bodyjam class. What was good was I had 8 minutes chat to her about mine, and others, fear of classes -she said there is always someone else that feels that way. Apparently next week is some new routine etc and no one will know it I made promise to her that I would go. The thought terrifies me but I think it will be good for me and a change of routine. It is good to face our fears. WI tomorrow so with TOM due I am not feeling positive, probably because I am going mad with PMS symptoms, don't you just love being a girl. My niece arrives tomorrow to spend the weekend with me. Looking forward to it and will sit down and plan what I am eating (as we will be out eating a lot). She does need to lose weight but I want her to realise that being overweight does not define you as a person, you are after all more than a body. As a person that had a mother that hounded me about my weight, I don't want her to go through this, after all we all know that losing weight is about mindset - not what others want us to do, although I know I need to lost a lot of weight, saying that doesn't make it a natural thing to do, I am doing well because my headset is right, but if it wasn't then I would struggle . She is a fantastic 14 year old and I always reinforce that I love her for her.

Another 700 grams gone and it is all about balance

Well, as you know I set, or I should say my leader and I set a challenge about have 4 losses in a row. Once that is achieved then I can buy my vintage inspired Lorna Jane Gym Bag. So went to my weigh in at Myer and my WW and I had a great chat about balance, but more about that later. Got on the scales and had no idea how I was going to go as due to my obsession about organising the house I had done no exercise and there you go another 700 grams down. So pleased with that, half way through my challenge.

The beauty of the one on one meetings through WW at the Myer Centres is it is about you. I talked about the gym, which I love and adore, and not for the weight loss benefits but for the stress relief it provides and how it makes me feel when I am finished. What I found was a although I went to the gym, the house suffered. As I said to Di (My Leader) I need to find a balance where I can go to work, socialise, go to the gym and keep on top of things as after all even when I get to goal, the journey is not finished and I need to maintain for life. So this week there was little exercise but more organisation at home. I had comments from other people that read my blog and both personally, we seem to all suffer from this at some point. But with my insomnia I need to be organised so now the house is semi okay I can go to the gym from work, have dinner and do a bit of house work like my plan to do one room a night and have the balance.

Before I forget, those in Australia that read this and attend meetings. WW have changed the format, I think the new format isnt a success and so my leader has advised me, if people are not happy, it is critical that they complain. Remember everyone the power of the people. So please so yourself a favour and for all those other members out there and complain. We do forget that WW is a business after all but saying that they wont want people to leave the organisation. There was a survey after the meeting format was implemented and they have based it on that, but people being people they don't want to cause conflict for their leaders and thus conflicting views.

I thought I would raise the topic of support today? I do get support from my leader, she is firm but understanding but what is absolutely mindblowing the support from the online community. Other than blogs which I am now finding quite a few newbies from new sites I visit but also from my little WW Facebook group, which is full of women of all different ages that support each other, at times we have nothing in common except our battle to lose the bulge. These women are at various stages of their journey and so there is always someone that can help. I really suggest getting people together from your meetings and either starting up a group, get on facebook and chat or whatever it takes as what I found that support from the online community is such a wonderful thing.

This week I am back into the groove of exercise, I plan to implement my new organisational program of going to work and ideally getting off the tram early and walking into work, working, going to the gym after work, coming home and cooking a meal and sitting down and enjoying it and then a bit of speed cleaning each night -either one room a day or what I perceive needs to be done. Keep you posted. After all it is about Balance.

Last night saw me attend an aunt's 70th birthday with mum and dad. This is one for you. My aunt is my dad's aunty but they are the same age. Basically my great grandmother and my grandmother had babies at the same time (one my aunt and one my dad). It was great to catch up with the Dally clan and we always have good fun. One of my cousins (2nd etc) Kate who happens to be born on the same day as me was the only one to have enough guts to ask me why I wasn't married, I told her simply it hasn't happened and I am hoping that good things come to those who wait but saying that, this year is not about just weight but also about opening up the universe to good things and becoming the master of your destiny.

Australia Day we are having a catch up with friends, initally we were going to Hazelwood Park but have since decided to have it at a friends place, we are all bringing something and have a picnic style meal. I am making a WW Zucchini Slice and Rocket, Pear and Parmesan salad and know there will be chicken there, so I think I will be fine. I try not to drink during the week, although everyone will be sipping on the savignon blanc or Rose I will take my Perrier water and have that in my wine glass with lemon. Luckily, as much as I am foodie and wine buff I can say no to wine.

So, over all things are quitely going well. I think we should all remember to run our own race, just because one person is losing massive numbers on the scales, it doesn't have to be a competition. So girls, run your own race, if it takes a little longer then so be it and enjoy the journey, if you enjoy it I think we will be able to get to goal and then start the new mindset and lifestyle associated with keeping us at our goal weights.

New blogs coming this week.......one food, wine and entertaining associated and another is a magazine style blog where I will review and discuss everything (ie. the new brand of coffee out, current affairs or a discussion on how to raise confident children). Just trying to sort out catchy names. May have something like Miss Marty's guide to ...........etc. Any ideas most welcome.

Have a delightful day.

I am decluttering !

Today is Tuesday and I feel so so. Somehow trying to balance the gym, work, home and food today is a bit much but this mood is mainly though lack of sleep. I am currently having a clean out of stuff (like old disks, computer parts) and old Tupperware, what I am finding is that I need to be organised to achieve my weight loss goals. I think firstly doing up a menu planner for the week is one way, I have decided on the following for cleaning schedule for me to do after dinner and the gym to structure my time better :- Monday: Loungeroom Tuesday: Kitchen Wednesday: Toilet, Laundry and Bathroom Thursday: Main Bedroom Friday: Study and spare bedroom Weekend: Outside, cook meals for week, grocery shopping This way if I allocate a room to a day and do a thorough clean I might find it a bit easier so that on the weekends I am not running around like a headless chook. I adore the gym and the stress relief it brings me, the house has never been so disorganised and as the insomnia just worsens when this happens since the gym commenced although the gym is my absolute joy of my week (this is a minor miracle !!!) , I need to have a plan. So the rubbish guys came today for the bins, the bin is full and threw out a lot of stuff, boxed stuff I don't use and labelled it ,and somehow feeling better. Tonight I just have to do my room and the bathroom and 3 baskets of ironing (which I never have as I always iron every Sunday night) and then I should be back on top of things. The Virgo in me has high expectations of myself, sometimes I have to realise with 3 hours sleep I can't conquer the world ! My parents arrive on Thursday and so I will get my darling Dad will do some jobs at home which is a bonus. Ate a bag of lollies yesterday, so that put my evening meal out of wack, but saying that these things happen, I think it is unrealistic to think that I can be 100% good 100% of the time but things are going well with WW and I am pleased with my headset and the focus I need. I suppose my little mood is more men related, it would be nice to have romance in one's life but saying that I have a good life, great job and wonderful and adored family and friends. Tomorrow I am hoping to get back to my normal routine, that way I will feel a bit better and more in control. Next week I have a few nights out with the dinners so I am going to sit down and plan what I am eating and I am at least lucky that my friends are supportive and I can be honest with them. I suppose the excellent thing about the lolly situation yesterday is that I got back on the horse, normally it would be an excuse to eat. The online support I get is remarkable, I have a facebook group I am involved with and all doing WW, we are meeting up in Melbourne in May 2010 so I am seriously planning to attend. I find them inspirational women but what is remarkable is that we are all strangers but somehow friends. So the cap it off, this week I am organising home a bit better (to allow me to sleep) so that I can relax when I go to bed after the gym etc, that way my brain is not in overdrive. I hope everyone that is trying to get healthy, exercise more and lose weight are doing well, I know that with persistence and support there is nothing stopping me. I am pleased to say that I am fairly relaxed about this, I think sometimes we need to breathe and slow down a bit and enjoy the journey instead of trying to be wonder women !

Weigh in results

Well, I should be cleaning the house, I thought I would have a break and a peppermint tea and do a quick blog. Friday saw me go to my WW weigh in, lost 900 grams which in itself is a good result, to be honest I was slightly dissapointed in that I busted my ass with exercise and food but as I have been told before - my damn body must be in shock from the exercise I am doing. Giving the gym a miss this weekend purely as I have so much to do at home, I want to get a bit more organised so that when I do go to the gym I can come back home and just spend an hour doing stuff so that the weekends provide me with more time and perhaps a twice daily gym visit, as they are so enjoyable. I know everyone will say it is a good loss, but my fellow dieters from a facebook group I am in, have lost extraordinary amounts this last fortnight but it is a reminder that I must run my own race.

Friday night caught up with my friend Michael - again chickened out about the "committment" talk, must do it soon - it is great to have such a close person with benefits but after all I need committment and if I want to open the open up the universe and find my soul mate, then I have to break free of him, when you are by yourself and there is someone around to cuddle you etc - it is hard to say good bye, but this is about what I want for my future.

Mum and Dad arrive next week for a quick visit and we have a 70th to go to, that should be great as some of my Dad's relatives will be there and we only see them at weddings and funerals and they are good value, the weekend after my 14 year old niece Savannah is coming down from Broken Hill for a few days, I am dead set excited to spend some auntie/niece time. So no doubt shopping, coffees and an outing to my favorite Indian Restaurant - Taj Tandoor in Rundle Street, Adelaide is the go.

Yesterday went and saw It's Complicated at the movies, a great movie and had a quiet night. So today I am doing the housework - as much fun as watching paint dry. This week I intend to keep doing what I have been doing last week. My increasesd cardio program is doing well and will speak to dear Jess at the gym about increasing my weights. This week I might do a few more days with the new program and think about increasing the levels of the machines but keep the time that I am doing it the same. At present it is 45 minutes cardio and I work at it. It will be interesting to see the increases in the levels and my fitness by say June this year.

Tonight am going to cook some corn cakes from one of my many WW recipe books and make up a salad for work tomorrow. The support I get from the online community is really fabulous and I really get a buzz from communicating with people the world over. My little facebook group I am a member of is so supporting, at times it rocks my world. The battle to lose weight is one that is shared by many people, I have people in various stages of their weight loss journey - some people like Kazz just rock my world. This girl started the gym at 175 kg and is now down to 120's etc and had made the gym and good eating a part of her life - she inspires me because I know the road isnt always easy, there are people who have been on the journey for a while, from them I learn that not giving up is a powerful tool.

Visulisation ? Has anyone done this. At the gym sometimes I think got look at me, we don't have a lot of mirrors at the gym but a couple of pillars are mirrors and when I see myself I nearly die but when I look at some girls that are slimmer and obviously work at their figures or the bigger people at the gym (which there are many) it reminds me that the slimmer girls work at it, the bigger people are working at it as well. I am trying to visualise myself at 71kgs (which would have me around a size 14), would I be more confident? Would I project confidence? Would men be more interested, now before everyone comments I know that men don't necessary see a slim woman as attractive. I suppose I am the master of my own destiny and I need to remember that.

Well better get back to that housework, it isn't going to do it by itself. Martine xxx

Doing great !!

It is 3.30am on Wednesday morning and I cannot sleep, the story of my life so I thought I would give everyone an update. The cool change has hit Adelaide which is a such a relief and lots of rain, hopefully it will help green up my lawn.

Tuesday saw another good day as far as food, water, tracking and exercising goes - when friends struggle and they are chatting to me, my advice is always babysteps and to just focus on 1 day at a time, after a few days you are back in the groove of doing the right things. So far after my weigh in on Friday it has seen the days from Saturday to Tuesday (so far) as being perfect and I am pleased that the mojo which obviously went on holidays somewhere exotic has returned to me.

I am trying to vary my food intake around as a bit of advice from a WW leader a while ago who managed to lose 75 kgs told me to never have the same foods 2 days in a row and as I have been advised by the gym that your body gets used to the routine of exercise if you do the same thing, I am trying to vary the food, try new foods and recipes.

I brought late last year an A4 size 2010 diary - at night I print off my WW online tracker and write down my food, water and exercise and any notes I have, it will be interesting to see how this goes and my notes etc during the year.

Went to the gym last night, during the week it is easy. Nothing else much gets done around home on these nights other than dinner, the dishes and a bit of TV but I am sure that as the exercise levels improve as will my energy levels. Did my cardio program last night, as a rule normally I don't sweat much if at all, but when I do my designed cardio program I am dripping and my hair is quite damp. This is a good feeling as I know I am working hard. Adrian the manager of the personal trainers at my gym initally designed my program but I have become friendly with one of the younger trainers Jess who is such so wonderful that I actually emailed her boss, she was the trainer that spoke to me on my first solo day at the gym and has been in my corner ever since and considering I am a stranger. I talked to her about my program and how often I need to re-design it etc, she is going to see me every 6 weeks for a new program and 3 x 1/2 PT sessions, her rates are cheaper than some but I will need to cut back in other areas so I can do this. She redesigned the cardio and I am doing more intensity and 15 minutes more, I am a little nervous about the prospect of this but I am sure that with self talk I can push through the pain barrier. Last night I was exhausted by the end but did the program (old program) at the levels designed even though it was tough - that in itself is a sign that things are going great. So in 6 weeks I see the lovely Jess again and I am sure she will help lift my fitness level, we have talked about classes which is a terrifying thought but that will come.

The gym is busy with new members but what is absolutely bloody brilliant is that it is all sizes, last night I wasn't the largest member and there are lots of ages, sizes and fitness levels and it is good that this gym is about average people and not the beautiful ones.

Overall, I am very pleased with how I am going, yesterday my boss brought in some Haighs chocolate truffles (for those not familiar with these, they are the most divine thing god put on this earth), I turned them down and had my diet yoghurt and was happy with that. Isn't doing something like this a good feeling ? It does mean the mojo is back from vacation.

So far this has been a positive week, but in reality 1 week out of 52 weeks in the 2010 year - I need to ensure that my intial goal/challenge of 4 losses which is 1 month of good work is kept up.

As my reward for 4 losses in a row I am going to buy a new gym back - either Lorna Jane and ditch the back pack - I like things to look nice even if it is carrying stuff to the gym.

Anyway, off to bed again - Vince the wonderdog is fast asleep and I am about to wake him for a cuddle as he is just so damn cute.

Martine x

Well all I can say it is hot !!!

Adelaide is undergoing a heatwave at present, not fun. We have had a lot of days over 40 degrees, it is shocking ! Hopefully the cool change will come tomorrow, the positive of this is that the water intake is high !

Well, Day 3 since my weigh in on Friday and all going good. It is funny how when my leader was gentle but tough with me about me joining previously and it was now time for me to make 2010 my year. I was a bit embarrassed (that is my personality type) but what I needed. I am just focused on doing the tracking my food within my points, water and exercise. I note when I go to the gym that I am sweating profusely when I do my cardio and know that I am pushing myself, I am hoping that within the next few weeks I can increase the intensity a bit. The gym was busy tonight, it will be interesting to see by June how many newbies are still there, I am just pleased I joined when it opened and have been there since the start.

Today's evening meal was an omlette as after the gym I am never really hungry but will go tomorrow for a 30 minute workout, it is the feeling you get when you finished that I like. I do feel self conscious a bit, I note some girls with great bodies and how far they push themselves, it made me realise today that exercise is just part of their lives and how they keep trim.

Overall, all going well. I am quite calm about this process, I think sometimes we get too carried away with it all, exercise and good eating habits have to be the norm and not something that you do to lose weight, it should be like cleaning your teeth - it is something you should do.

Well everyone, I am hoping the scales are kind this week, a good weight loss is what I need. With the increased exercise, I may need to tackle the balance of points and bonus points but at least there are a few people I know that are a bit experienced in this area (Tania and Kazz !!).

With a weight loss on Friday that makes 1 loss out of 4 so far. My goal was 4 losses in a row so I am hoping with a loss this Friday it makes me a quarter of the way to my goal. I must decide what to buy, I may buy an iphone device of some description.

Have a good day.

Happy New Year everyone !

After all the planning of Christmas, it has been and gone. I need to start from my last post of 22/12/09.

This is a photo taken of the world's best dog, my surrogate child Vince or formally known as Vincenzo Christopher Dally. If I had $10 for every cuddle this little guy got I would be rich.

23/12/09 saw my last day at work for the year. My lovely boss gave me a Chanel No 5 gift pack of bath foam and perfume, I was ecstatic as I adore that perfume but could never afford it, it nice to know I am appreciated and will use the perfume for special occasions. We finished work at 12pm and took a taxi down to Glenelg (a beachside suburb of Adelaide) and had our Christmas lunch with another solicitor at Sammy's at Holdfast Shores, we started off with some drinks and dips, and then had a fresh seafood platter with octopus, oysters, prawns and lobster and it was divine and very point friendly and had some lovely Sauvignon Blanc wine from New Zealand and finished up with coffee and a Cointreau drink on ice ( !). 24/12/09 saw me drive to Broken Hill for Christmas. I did pick up a friend of my mother's son and drove him up, Vince the wonderdog sat on the back seat and glared at me for 6.5 hours.

My mother cooked for Christmas like she was feeding a third world country, I had decided to enjoy the day with my family and get back on track. Broken Hill had a gastro epidemic and as a consequence 7 family members, including myself got sick, so Mum's Christmas lunch did not happen, we didn't end up eating till days later and at that stage we all felt a little sick still so a lot of the food went to waste, I stayed up at Broken Hill until 30/12/09 and drove home on 31/12/09. I had New Years Eve with a friend Michael and was going to have the "talk" about commitment and us but chickened out.

With my lung condition, one of the symptoms is lethargy, I suffered greatly from that in that I was tired a lot, the lack of vegetables in my diet over the Christmas period didn't help.

Before Christmas my leader asked me to think about what I want to achieve in 2010. I suppose I have set myself some REALISTIC goals in relation to the gym, it is my wish that by 31/12/10 that I am fitter and the gym is a sanctuary for me to go and unwind and a tool to enable the weight to come off, I suppose Kazz is an inspiration for a newbie at the gym to look at what she has achieved and learn from that, I suppose I would like to purchase a heart rate monitor as well to keep me focused on goals etc. Another resolution of types is to be in double figures by 31/12/10 which is 17 kilos and absolutely achievable, it is not use setting goals or resolutions that are not achievable.

I went back to work on 7/1/10 and to be honest glad to get back into the routine, I did not track once since my last weigh in and there were a few days that I ate too much and over ate, that needs to be addressed. The binge eating is a problem that needs to be addressed. Went to my WI last night and gained 1kg so pleased with that actually, considering I didn't track.

What was good was that my leader is honest and to the point, one of the positive things about the one on one approach and WW's Lifestyle Centres, with mine being in Rundle Mall, Adelaide. She advised me I had been to WW before - true and that this was the year I needed to get serious. She asked me before Christmas to think of what I wanted to achieve this year, I did think and the world CONSISTENCY was what I want to achieve, consistent losses, 500 grams a week would make me happy. After much discussion, we set a goal for me to aim for -4 losses in a row and need to work out what I am going to buy myself once that is achieved.

I woke today knowing there is now no excuses, I can stay 117 kgs or 71 kgs it depends on what I want, I think I just need to focus and do the self talk. It is unfortunate that my leader resigned, I was in a good spot with consistent losses but that is now done and it is no use me dwelling on that, what I want to achieve is 4 losses in a row from today. No excuses.

I have a wonderful wonderful group of girls that are a WW support group via facebook, some of them are total strangers but we support and encourage each other and more importantly we don't judge. This little group does make me realise I am not a lone soldier in this weight loss battle, it is universal. My biggest problem is that I am too hard on myself, partly my personality type, partly mother issues (which I need to address) re my weight. Baby Steps is what I must remember.

I am preparing a collage of things, like photos, a pair of long winter boots (I cant get them over my calves), food, my gym etc I am a going to use my friends, internet friends and anything I can obtain to help me make this year a year of weight loss.

I have a new iphone and am trying to put on audio books and some podcasts, if anyone listens to any good podcasts, please let me know as I want to listen to some whilst at the gym.

Why is this time of year difficult

Well the last few days my eating has been appalling, but today so far so good. Christmas is not an excuse to eat. Dinner out last night with my best mate at Salt at Glenelg, a lovely meal with fabulous wine - my favorite Rockford Alicante ! It is nice to go out with such lovely and supportive friends. My focus on the next few days is just to do what I am doing, tracking even if I am bad seems to work the best. Today is a pretty normal day, tomorrow is our work show at Sammy's at Holdfast shores and my boss orders a large seafood platter with fresh seafood - so points wise good and a few glasses of very good wine. Bliss. Thursday driving home and now have a passenger so I am not happy, I Vince the wonderdog and I usually listen to my audio books and that passes the time, now I have a virtual stranger who I don't know and have to entertain him but I have my supplies for the trip and my water and then only have Christmas day to go and the hard part is over. Anyway, not much to report but basically a lot of soul searching has been done about where I want to be this time next year, I am going to do a collage on a cork board of various things, like boots - I cant wear them because my calfs are too large, fitness photos, good food etc to inspire and motivate me.

The question was asked "what do you want to achieve from 2010"

Well, where to begin ! I should be doing housework and packing for my trip home, the house is a mess but that can wait for the time being.

Last week was busy, I work for a law firm and most law firms close during the Christmas period - mine closes from 23/12/09 at 12pm and re-opens on 6/1/10. So with the additonal solicitor I am working for, things have been busy. Some of you may or may not know, my last job had me working horrendous hours for am employer where I wasn't even allowed to take leave (other than the christmas break) and as we were understaffed, my stress levels were high. I was approached by my current employer to work for her, as I had previously worked with her many years ago, and the workload wasn't as large as I expected, now with the additonal solicitor who specializes in MVA claims, it is all happening - so this last week was shocking and next week worse, but the focus must be on one task at a time.

I am lucky in this job to be able to have 1 RDO off a month, so Friday I was at the gym at 7am with my friend, and did all my shopping, WI at WW Lifestyle Centre - gained 400 grams but I have had a lot of Christmas functions and TOM is due and I always gain. Gribbles Pathology rang me and need more blood, the 3 previous vials were not enough, so by the time I got home by 5.30pm I was exhausted. During the day I popped into see my dear friend Tania who has been trying to be superwoman, running a house, kids, WW, exercising like a demon and the demands of doing 2 jobs at work whilst a fellow employee was on maternity leave, so I dropped off some flowers to say I loved her and for her to chill during the first few days of her holidays. She made a lovely comment on her blog and facebook, in my life my friends are such a huge and important part - they are all just loved and each bring a different part to my life. Tania is my WW person, my WW rock and the voice of reason when I am off track. I think that gesture had an impact on her but it is what I do. Like the other day when a personal trainer at the gym has gone above and beyond her job to make me feel comfortable, I wrote a letter to the manager and praising her enthusiasm and support of me. My first solo effort at the gym was a little nerve wracking, whilst getting changed I mentioned this was my first time without my friend, 10 minutes later she came over to see how I was going, each time I get a supportive word or if I have a query about the program that was designed for me by another trainer a helpful tip. The manager actually looked out for me and thanked me. I said "it is what I do" I refuse to be a person that whinges all the time.

Weight Watcher had me secure a gain, with TOM due I always gain and the Christmas season being what it is, I was surprised but on review probably deserved 400 gram gain. Di my leader asked me to take 30 minutes during the Christmas break to "Think about what you want to achieve in the next year" although the WW staff members and my leader did comment on that I was looking good and re-focused, actually I am and I think that purging of my feelings helped, I plan to lose weight at my next weigh in on 8/1/10 as I am not sure when I am back from Broken Hill with my niece.

Overall, this time of year is great, the end of one year and the mistakes that have been made, with a fresh brand new year ahead. I am taking time to evaluate all things in my life, striving ahead for the type of life I want and getting the demon weight off and the issues associated with it.

I am quite relaxed about the WW journey, I believe with WW you can get the food balance right in that you can really enjoy what you eat, not feel like you are dieting which is not what we are doing anyway, learning that exercise is your friend both physically and mentally.

I suppose I would like to set myself a monthly goal of some desription, by the end of January 2010 I want to do a pump class, face my fear and get on with it. The gym is an enjoyable haven for me, at times I struggle to finish my workout as I am just exhausted from lack of sleep and the symptoms of my lung condition, but I do it - I am looking forward to the New Year, I want consistent losses.

I wish everyone the happiest Christmas and safe New Year, for us that are struggling to lose those excess kilos - together I am sure next year is the year this will happen. I have learnt the mental edge is what helps, if you have the focus the road is not hard.

Please feel free to comment and put any personal goals, challenges or even 2010 resolutions on your comment. I may well remind you of these when I read your blog in 2010.

Martine xxxx

Fluffing around with blog designs !

I just realised that I have been sitting at the computer for an hour fluffing around with blog designs ! So I thought whilst I am around that I would arrange a quick post. Today was busy at work, my workload has dramatically picked up and with the end of the year approaching it is madness. So, after work tonight I was tired but had my gym clothes in the car and went to the gym, it was easy once I got there. Did 30 minutes on the cardio machines with me trying to increase the intensity next week and did 1/2 of my weights program, with this I think I am going to need to take it slowly - instead of 2 lots of 20 repetitions - basically I do each machine twice and 20 reps each, I have (as well as my gym friend) easing into it. Overall it has been a good day, I must admit to enjoying the feeling exercise gives me and no one can be more surprised than me. Ended up having fish for dinner, I must admit to having no appetite when I finish my workout. Vince the world's best dog keeps coming in to see me - I think that is a gentle hint it is time for a cuddle - that dog is so cute it is frightening. Isn't it funny how just purging my problems to my leader made all the diffence. I must admit to being proud of myself for just relaxing about it all, I think that our bodies will do what they want to do - all we have to do is track, eat right, drink our water, exercise. It is an interesting concept that the more exercise you do the more food you need - no doubt this will be a balance I need to sort out. Me being me, a fairly social person - has also getting a few people saying howdy to me at the gym, this is always good and now I don't feel so frightened.

I always like a Monday

Somehow Monday is always a good day, it horrible getting out of bed but food wise it is just easier. The weekend wasn't the best food wise but plan to ensure the rest of the week is superb. Have the gym gear packed in the car for the gym tonight - so 30 minutes of intense cardio and my weight program should have me around 75 - 85 minutes of exercise tonight, I fully intend to ensure that I build up my exercise gradually instead of a bull at a gate and enjoy the process of seeing my exercise and fitness build up.

Tonight is an easy dinner of eggs made into an omelette. The house is a mess so plan to eat dinner and starting sorting some stuff out, the weekend I was pretty tired and so need to ensure I get everything ship shape before heading to Broken Hill for Christmas.

Now on the subject of Christmas, my personal plan is to enjoy the actual day 25th but not use Christmas as an excuse to go off the plan, if I can maintain my weight over Christmas then I will be happy. Why is it that you never feel like going to the gym until you actually get onto a machine, the feeling when you finish is such a good feeling, thankfully tonight when I go at around 6pm, the news and current affairs shows are on and they keep me amused. Had a crossiant for breakfast today, got I love those things at 4.5 points for one it is a bit steep but worth every damn point, I feel like when I eat these that I am having a real big treat.

I am back !!!! Lots to tell

Well I can't believe it has been so long since my last post. Work has become busier and that was when I normally posted my updates, so I am planning to either do an update during my lunch hour or at night. There is lots to tell so will start at the beginning.

Weight and Weight Watchers

As mentioned in my previous post, Don my leader who I had a great bond and rapport with left WW. The leader that I now have Di is great but I lost my mojo and focus after Don left. My weight just was up and down and I needed to decide what I was going to do, leaving WW is not and never has been an option for me. Went to a city meeting with Toni who was wonderful and thought that might have been an option, so on the 4th December 2009 I had a huge talk to Di, initially I was going to move meetings. I basically poured my heart at and it was so therapeutic to do so. I decided and Di agreed I needed to start over (this was to coincide with the opening of the gym). and so started a new card and book with Di to keep the book at WW. Somehow it was a good feeling, she admitted to me she thought it would be difficult for me when Don left. So the old saying a problem shared is a problem solved is exactly right.

So my first weigh in was Friday. Had a good week and it was unfortunate that I had a work lunch late on Friday before my weigh in, got on those scales and only 100gram loss but happy that it was a loss and considering I ate at 2.30pm and didnt finish till 3.30pm - that could be the reason, the scales are not the be all and end all of success, particularly during the Christmas season.

This week I am just planning on doing the same things I have been doing. I am proud of the fact that I am reasonably relaxed about what has happened of late, I think at times we put too much pressure on ourselves and there needs to be a balance, if I cant get the gym one day, it is not the end of the world. Putting too much pressure on ourselves is a trigger for disaster, I want this journey to be enjoyable and to enjoy the food and exercise but not let it dictate my life.

Gym

The gym has finally opened at Glenelg it is the Genesis Gym and the gym has opened and is a state of the art facility and brand new, it is nice to work out in a nice environment and what is good is that the people that attend are just every day people. A program has been designed both cardio with levels I should be aiming for etc and the weights program, all going well and I certainly am sweating after the workout and can feel that I have pushed myself. Going to the gym and doing a good workout is enough, baby steps at present for me with 3 times a week is my initial goal till the new year, a walk every now and again during the day for me. I have an iphone with an ipod so hoping to sort out the downloading of stuff for that and particularly good podcasts to enable me to listen to something whilst working out, the good things is the gym has tv's everywhere and I can plug into listen to them and that is entertaining. I have had one PT training session with Adrian, he is a great guy but not for me but have bonded quite well with one of the other trainers Jess and think I might investigate to odd training session with her, money is extremely tight so I am hoping just to fit a few in every now and again.

Health Wise

I have been diagnosed with sarcoidosis which are nodes on the lung, the symptoms of these are coughing, breathlessness, headaches, change in heart rhythm and exteme lethagy. So I have undergone a battery of tests at present to see what condition everything is in. It is a rare disease but hopefully I can get it sorted out, so I am pleased that even though I am extremely tired I can at least function. There are all sorts of treatment, I have been given some medication for the cough which is getting worse and driving me mental, although there is medication that I can take the side effects are shocking and one of them is massive weight gain - obviously this is a last resort.

Food Blog

In the new year I want to start a food blog to review recipes, new food products, food journals and cook books, cafes and restaurants but not only with WW in mind but food in general. I am trying to think of a catchy name. Some of the names I am thinking of are:-

1. Food Review
2. Food, Restaurants ,Recipes and Review
3. Cuisine Chronicles
4. All things food
5. The Foodie Corner

Anyone else has any ideas?

Love Life

This time of year (Christmas) can be a very hard time of year for us single girls. My friend Michael (friend with benefits) which has last 14 years and I know cares deeply for me is committment phobic, it is frustating for all types of reasons. I suppose if I need to change my life, then it is me that needs to change it. This time of year I am surround my new born babies, they absolutely tear at my heart and although in this life, it hasnt happened for me and I am fine with that, it still hurts after all I am a very maternal type of woman and in this life my "Isabella" my baby name is not going to happen. All of this makes me realise why I am spending time with Michael that what I want is not going to happen. I have a lovely friend who is going out with a great guy in the USA and they are having a long distance relationship which is working out well, he is a tour manager for the rock band Kiss and is fabulous, this relationship makes me realise what I am missing out on. It is not always flowers and romance and realise that this does fad but I want to experience that at some point. So before I go to Broken Hill for Christmas on the 24th of this month I am going to have it out with him and tell him I can't do this any more. It is going to be emotional but saying that I need to do this.

Well - that basically covers it, during the Christmas period I am going to try and just maintain my weight and focus on one day at a time. I think the fact that I am fairly relaxed but focused is going to help me get that 50 kilos off and not crash and burn.

Please feel free to comment on this blog, it helps no end. I promise to blog daily from now on.

Martine xxxxx

New post coming

Will be posting a long detailed blog tonight ! Have been slack. Mx

I get a mention (name only) in the WW Mag

Hi everyone I have been a bit slack with the blogging, I normally do it during the day but have been busy at work and haven't got around to it at night. All okay with me, WI tonight at WW so have no idea how I will go, I think I might be in for a gain as I haven't tracked all well (naughty Martine !!) and have had a few too many jelly babies and lime sundaes from Donut King ! One of my facebook friends has mentioned that my name is mentioned in the WW Magazine this month for their blogging section, just a quote from me, but exciting. Popped into WW at lunchtime to have a look at the mag, mine is at home next to the bed awaiting to be read ! Di my new leader and I had a chat, I was honest when I said I hadn't tracked and my mind wasn't as focused as I was a bit rattled that my beloved leader Don resigned. She was great, she did say she was concerned as I obviously was inspired by Don. Saying that, I do like Di and know she has got quite a few people to goal and is great, luckily I am around the corner as well from the city WW meetings and their is a good leader there called Toni (who I have mentioned in my previous posts that has lost 73.4 kgs without loose skin). So I may incorporate both. I have a enlarged node on my neck, at present have had some tests and a biopsy, luckily it is just inflammed but the inflammation is coming from my chest and so x-rays and a CT Scan are in order, nothing too major - so that has been on my mind as well. Luckily, my anti-depressant medication has kicked in and I am feeling my normal happy self. My work situation is changing as at Monday and I am taking on another solicitor at work, so it will be interesting to see how it goes. Luckily, he is a great person and so hopefully we work together okay. I must admit, I am pretty much in a groove with WW - I am not thinking about it 24/7 but am in the routine of what I need to eat. Exercise is definitely an area where I need improvement, the weather in South Australia has been glorious, so there is no excuse. Will report in tomorrow on my WI.

Monday again

Well I am still in shock over my two great losses over the two weeks, namely 1.6 and 1 kg. Even more exciting is that TOM arrived on Sunday so my 1kg loss from Friday is even more exceptional. I don't think I have done anything too different, so I suppose my body is catching up. Went out to dinner and the movies on Saturday to see Julie and Julia with Meryl Streep. A wonderful movie particularly if you are a Meryl fan or a foodie. I might start reviewing different foods and recipes and food books but trying to think of a good name for a blog for it. Sunday worked like the devil and note the energy levels were much increased. My car is in the crash repairers this week so will be walked lots of places, so hopefully that makes a difference on Friday when I WI. On Saturday had an hair appointment, those who know me, know I take great pride in my appearance and so had my 6 weekly appointment. Went to Autograph to use my birthday voucher and get a pair of jeans, have dropped 1 size already and wore my outfit out on Saturday arvo and felt quite good, finding a pair of jeans with the right leg is horrendous, I try to buy bootleg for my shape, my legs are okay but my tummy is large and so brought a light blue pair and a floaty blue top. A friend who hadn't seen me for a while, did notice the weight loss which was great. She is short and 65 kgs and wants to lose 10 kgs, I fail to see why people use those shakes when you can eat the 5 food groups plus treats on WW and still lose - there is no quick fix, it takes work. I went over my points as I planned for 1 glass of wine but ended up with 2 but saying that, it is all pointed in the tracker etc. So, again this week I am focusing hard not to have a gain, considering my two good losses, it has given me the confidence I needed, my only concern is that Don my ex leader hasn't seen these, but I think I might get my friend Tania to mention to his wife who is her leader that I am doing well and missing him.

I am devastated my leader has resigned !

Well this weeks has had its ups and downs. Last week I lost 1.6 kgs and so was aware that it was a large amount and I had to be careful this week. To be honest I would have been happy with a 200 gram loss, got on the scales and another kilo loss. I think my hard work is paying off. So this is a good thing and inspired me to focus on the week ahead. On a sadder note, my beloved leader Don has resigned in mysterious circumstances, no doubt something has got up his nose with WW but can't find out what happened, it is sad when excellent leaders who inspire, encourage and support you are no longer with the organisation, I think WW are a big company and of course they are out to make money, the thing is, with leaders like Don - he actually encourages new members. So then I was in a predicament of who to go to, as you know I go to the WW lifestyle centre at Myer, there are two youngish girls there - who are fabulous but I find I wouldn't want them as my leader, luckily Di and old leader of mine is there and she is fabulous, so I am happy with that. Hopefully she stays on board. Although I am going to write a letter to WW re leaders and their importance and how absolutely devastated I am that Don has left. My anti-depressants are kicking in and I am feeleing happier and thinner. I can start to notice in my face and an old pair of jeans I have are so big now (although they were biggish when I brought them) are no longer wearable, also went to Autograph to buy this skirt I eyed and my normal size was too big - so this is all inspiring me to keep up the good work.

A good and unexpected result

I went to my weigh in on Friday at 11am instead of my normal 5.20pm and was unsure how I would go, as you know I now no longer weigh in the scales at home and use my food and exercise as a quide - I thought I could have gained and low and behold a loss of 1.6 kg came up. I know part of that is the difference in the time I weigh but even so !

So the 1.6 loss has given me back my focus and I am so determined this week to have another loss. We all know that after a big loss the following week sometimes has a gain, I am determined not to let this happen to me.

I am hoping within the next week my anti-depressants will kick in and I will be feeling somewhat better, although I am a bit better I still want to sleep all day !

I am back to work on Tuesday and although there are some changes I am not happy about I am going to embrace them and focus on just doing my job. With Daylight saving starting in South Australia it is going to be ideal for me to get that walking into my routine.

Not much else to report, I had a different leader weigh me on Friday as Don my leader was at dragon boat racing and I have had her previously as a leader when I went to WW. Di (the leader) is fabulous and gave me some ideas about exercise as she advised me I was a bit like her - all or nothing and that when I plan my menus I should plan my exercise as well. So I am going to do that.

I think I really needed this good loss as it has given me the confidence and focus I needed.