Hi everyone, I know it has been a while.
I don't know what has happened but I have been off the rails. I have had a few health issues and the latest being a cold which is still going on together with reducing my anti-depressant medication I seem to have just lost the plot and my emotions have been all over the place and have been doing the "woe is me" routine.
I have been eating anything and everything lately, the more I eat the more I get depressed, the more I eat etc etc. I am back on the medication and going to my WW meeting tonight to get back on track. I am pleased to report that other than last week when my car was at the crash repairers I am still walking in the morning and that has helped me get up earlier on the weekends. On Saturday I was up at 7.30am - a minor miracle and started to get into some jobs.
I have been an all or nothing girl. Either I am 100% good or I am 100% bad and then binge eating occurs. I have chatted to my darling friend Tania the other day and we have sorted some stuff out- I find that talking with friends a big help.
Anyway, what is done is done and I need to just focus on the future. In the near future an old flame from Darwin is coming down - I always think of him so I am now inspired to really shed some weight for me - so that I can feel mentally positive.
So today is the last day of me being bad. Funnily enough, I never intend to stop going to WW. I haven't been to my meetings for a while as my leader has been away or I have had stuff on so I must admit my lack of motivation is not helped by not attending meetings. I know I have gained probably 2-3 kgs but what is done is done.
I am now walking to and from the tram stop in addition to my walk and where possible a quick walk at lunchtime. I know I need to keep increasing my exercise so that is something I need to work on.
Why is it that when things get a little tough then the first thing we do is turn to food !!! I must admit I feel shocking. I am tired, bloated and self conscious, so I know getting back into the WW groove is a must. I know WW works and I just need to plan and focus on what I am trying to achieve.
As must as I hate the whole concept of the biggest loser, I have of late been getting inspiration from the before and after photos and recently when they looked at their initial videos. An overweight person is a sad person. I know that mentally and physically I would be a happier person with 50 kgs off.
NOW THERE IS NO EXCUSE. I need to focus on what I want to achieve. The choice is mine to be vibrant, healthy and happy or sad, fat and miserable. I whinge that men don't look at me. For what ever reason, this is how I feel. I know that weight is an issue, although we all can say that alot of men like a women with a few curves and quite a few of my friends have married lovely men and they have curves like me - but somehow I just dont attract them. Is it because I am not happy with myself - I think so. Therefore I need to be happy being Martine Marie Dally - owner of a wonderful dog, daughter, aunty, neice, legal secretary and this will and can happen with weight loss. I know I am more than a body and my weight doesnt define me as a person but I think society does.
Therefore 50 kgs need to come off and I need to start focusing on the task ahead, being responsible for my own actions and being a master of my own destiny.