Trying to diet over Christmas is horrendous

Well the weekend has come and gone. Today is my last working day for the year. - yippee!!!!!!!!! I was REASONABLY good on the weekend but it is tough over Christmas and the water on the weekend wasnt good - I need to concentrate on that but think overall I am pleased with my efforts considering I was out alot for meals. My meeting is closed for Christmas and the new year period so i am going to ensure that I go to the 8am meeting tomorrow in the city. I want to be accountable for what I eat over Christmas and have planned and planned. I intend to get into the exercise during the Christmas break. Fingers crossed I have lost but will report in quickly tomorrow as I am going to weigh in a 8am in the city. With the new year fast approaching I am hoping 2009 brings a more confident me. I know that nothing comes without a little effort but I want to celebrate Christmas 2009 feeling healthier, fitter and a little excited about the year ahead. I have a niece who is a bit "cuddly" - she is the most fantastic kid so want to set an example to her. This is a quick post - my boss is out of the office so will post tomorrow. Merry Christmas everyone and my challenge for the next week ahead is to lost 100grams. I think exercise is the key so when I am in Broken Hill will try and fit in a couple of daily walks with Vince aka the worlds best dog and that way it will get me into a routine for my exercise. Ideally I want to get up in the morning before work and go for a walk. Anyway enough of me for now.

Christmas celebrations - oh dear me !!

Well everyone, here we are the Friday before Christmas. What a week I am going to have with my Christmas celebrations with friends. I decided to track my points but with Core ...or should I say satisfaction foods. I went and visited Jo and Ron and by the time I got home I couldnt be bothered to eat as I had lost my appetite. I know this is not good - it is hard to eat when you are not hungry. God why is it one way or the other. Tonight I am going out with my best mates Joanne and Ron for our Christmas dinner and Ron's 55th birthday celebrations. I have planned my meal with points. Thought 2-3 glasses of wine, rice and my basil beef stir fry and may not have an entree but if I do will have cold rolls - they are mighty delicious. Today started off a bit strange, decided to go and have a coffee and some toast at a cafe before work. Anyway they had this beautiful Italian bread so just had that and some vegimite with a coffee - when I worked out the points - with the margarine thought I could have had a better choice, I have saved points but am skating a fine line with my points to incorporate tonight's meal but must say that I prefer Core as it is a bit easier and more flexible but at the same time slightly stricter - does this makes sense?. Tomorrow I am going over to my friend Michaels - we will have take away so will opt again for a stir fry of some description. Making plans to go home so unsure if I will blog whilst I am away - my mother is sneaky and at present this weight loss thing is a personal journey and she will only say "not again" or roll her eyes. Anyway I wish everyone on WW or in bloggerland all the best with trying to keep our weight under control over the Christmas period. Weighed myself this morning and the scales are down which is good and a reminder that all the hard work, planning and perservance will be worth it in the end.

Week 3 Weigh In and leader concerns

Well firstly here is a photo taken with my buddies - left to right, Gill, Joey, Vicki, Me and Jules. I am the biggest - get a load of the chin, arms and stomach but we catch up every Christmas so i am going to take another photo in December 2009 and hopefully there will be a big difference. Had my weigh in last night and only lost 200grams which isnt good. I have to say that I was disappointed in the result but on reflection I actually do not think I ate enough food. With my foot being like it was there were a few meals I missed BUT I do have to remember it is the Christmas period and a loss is a loss. We got our new program material, although I havent had time for a good review of it all I am impressed with the presentation of it. I thought about the week ahead and what meals I have out. So far four, a dinner at an Asian place on Friday, Sat night out with a friend, Sunday a breakfast and Tuesday my work show at a seafood place. Okay it is going to be a challenge, but I am declaring war on myself and my body. I can do this. I also thought about Shazwomble's blog and she has lost 55 kgs and had done "coints" which is monitoring your core foods with points. I roughly worked out my food intake and I was very low. So this week I am pointing the core foods and will sit down and calculate how many points I may need for my outings. I suppose every week is a learning curve. On a very sad note, my delightful leader looks like she wont be coming back. All because she needs to take her Dad to QLD for the month of January. They told her she couldnt have leave and would have to resign. Her meetings are great, in fact I would say her quiet caring nature and what she says makes sense. She told me "Christmas is not an excuse to go off the rails". That is true, why do we say because it is Christmas that we are entitled to eat like a horse. Our meeting to say the least are devastated. We will write to WW and we DONT want the leader from Marion to lead us. She is very very knowledgable and knows her stuff but just doesnt have the same caring nature and basically alot of us rejoiners are just terrified of her. My friend Karen who goes to the meetings with me will scout around for a new meeting if things with Jean our leader go pear shaped. Well enough for me for the moment. Looking in the mirror this morning I could tell that I had lost weight this week so I am just going to point my core foods, drink my water, track like the devil and visualise a weight loss of 0.5 or above next week. I am happy to say that I think that I am in the "ZONE".

Even fabulous clothes cant taken away the fact I am fat.

This is a Taking Shape outfit that cost me a fortune. It is the only outfit my mother has complimented me on but the stomach is always the issue. When I wore this outfit it was to a 30th birthday with all the beautiful people - I knew I looked good but at the end of the day felt like a fat blob.

I dont know where the boobs start and the stomach ends. The middle has to go.

Sideways photo 17/12/08

Well here I am from top to toe. The area of concern is that tummy. I will be able to use this as my before photo.

Photo - 17/12/08

Here I am in all my glory - taken at WW yesterday - 2.2 kilos down. Get a load of that chin.

Photos that make you cringe !

I need to offload. All of us that are overweight do know we are overweight but when we see photos of ourselves it really sometimes comes as a shock. I have had a few photos taken of late which have me sitting down. Honest to god I look like I am about to explode and have been quite upset about them. I just have to realise that this is the very reason that I am starting this weight loss journey and it is all downhill for here ....that is, weight wise. I spoke to my WW buddie Karen and have my camera in my bag and am going to get her to take a head shot, shot front on, side ways and from the back and then hopefully every 10 kgs take another set. I am very very upset by these photos as I think that because I do take so much care in my appearance and ensure my hair and makeup are always perfect that somehow that takes away from the fat. My arms and stomach are my major areas of concern. I suppose I just have to think of that photo when I am going to eat something. I know I have support from the WW community, Karen and Tania and I know my darling girlfriends are fabulous and dont judge me but I am my own worse enemy. So I just have to work on the next 3 kilos to my 5 kilo mark which will be my Jo Malone candle. I have a dinner on Friday night but it looks like it will be Asian of some description which is ideal for WW and a few glasses of wine. Next Tuesday is my work show. I am going to weigh in at the city meeting at 8am and go to my work show that day at 1.15pm - it is at Sammys at the Glenelg Marina and is seafood so I am sure I can find a good choice. I really want to see myself the challenge of losing weight even if it is 100grams over Christmas. I have my weigh in tonight, the following Tuesday 23/12/08 and then Tuesday 30th (both these meetings I have to go to Tuesday instead of Wednesday due to the public holiday). SO I can do this and really I suppose need to prove to myself that I have it. I am a bit tired today and always feel on edge the day I weigh in but I suppose that will get easy when I know what type of routine I am going to have with the weight losses. Anyway I will post an entry tonight on my results. I have looked at Shazwomble's blog - that girl is amazing - she has gone from an overweight average woman to a stunner and has lost 55 kgs in the process - I am amazed and so often go to her blog to see the difference to remind myself of what can be achieved.

Today's thoughts

Well I have been so good and I am hoping the scales are going to reflect my good work. The knee is still a shocker with my foot and inner calf now purple so I doubt whether I will be doing anything physical activiity in the next week. I do weigh myself at home as I find that encourages me when there is a loss and inspires me to work harder if i think I am having a gain. I do have doubts about my scales at home whether they are still working correctly. Anyway I have drinks tonight after work and going to try and behave and make sure that I sit on a drink or two. The new WW material is going to be handed out at my meeting on Wednesday so I am excited about that and am hoping it is good. I am really inspired to try and lose weight over Christmas - that in itself would be an achievement. I am starting to feel quite good about my thoughts and really we just need to be "in the zone". I firmly believe we can do anything if we believe we can. I think the food program is easy to do if your head is in the right place - I think mine is. I would like to think that this time next year that I have made huge differences in my life and that my feet (my weak part of my body) is no longer aching. Enough of me for the moment.

Positive thinking

I have just come back from a coffee with my friend Gill. I had a latte and ate my lunch before seeing her. I felt the need to blog. It is like an addiction for me at present but putting those thoughts down on paper somehow helps the journey. I realised at lunch today that my eating on the weekend was really good and that I managed good choices. I know eating not enough is as bad as eating too much but for me I suppose as well it showed control. I feel in the zone at present and want to embrace this feeling I am having. My goal is to lose weight over the next few weeks - if I can manage to lose even 100 grams the week after Christmas I know I will feel great. When I go home tonight I am going to work out when I am out for dinner, when I am at home, travelling etc and try to plan for this. Now Broken Hill which is were my parents live. I can manage to go up there and stay on track without too many suspicions aroused. I am normally fairly good when they are with me so I am using this as a challenge. My two part challenge is to lose weight over the Christmas period and to plan my eating in Broken Hill as best I can. I am sure it can be done. My first 5 kilo reward will be a candle from Jo Malone. Expensive but a reminder. Then I will work on my 2nd goal - 10 kilos. This weight loss story will take up all of 2009 and maybe 2010 but if I can see each month the scales going down on a regular consistent pattern then I am doing all right. Obviously there comes a time in a girls life where after some weight loss I may have to address that I am doing WW but for now I dont think anyone really needs to know. Tania and Karen will know of course but they understand my weight issues and self confident issues and they are major supporters and like me they struggle with their weight. I am inspired tonight to go home and plan my meals. By the way CORE does give me more energy and for those sugar heads, like me, increase that protein as I really dont have sugar cravings at all. My fingers, toes and everything else is crossed for Wednesday and the new program is going to be great. The power of positive thinking is good and each day I am going to remind myself of the good things I have done that day with regard to weight or whatever. If we feel positive then positive things happen.

The weekend update and the week ahead

This is Vincenzo aka Vince - the best and cutest dog known to man. Well everyone, where did that weekend go? On the knee front I did rest it quite alot so I have at least movement but god it is sore, swollen and bruised. No walking this week for me but hopefully by the end of the week I should be okay. I MUST GET THIS WALKING UNDERWAY. Now my weekend.......I actually thought I was reasonably good, I didnt drink all my water which I really must concentrate on a bit more and remember to carry a decent size container with me or ensure a smaller one is filled up regularly - hardly had any water so have to drink like the devil before my 3rd weigh in on Wednesday. Overall my eating wasnt too bad on the weekend, if anything, I didnt eat enough which we all know is not good. I am going to be like Mother Theresa with my food this week (Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday) so that I have a decent weight loss on Wednesday. I must admit to being a bit angry with the forums at present. The new program is causing concern for Core followers but guessing is not the answer. We are not going to completely know what is happening until it is released and if they are phasing out Core or whatever then we have to accept it. I plan to give the new program a few weeks trial period and see what I think. I will post my photos tonight. Had one taken with my girlfriends on the weekend - I had a lot of compliments about what I wore but I still look like I am about to explode - the arms and the stomach are shockers. I am hoping to keep the photos going regularly of my weight loss and may even just ask my WW leader at the end of the meeting. On my friend Tania's blog I see she too is thinking of joining WW. She had a huge success on it previously and I do believe is a good program. I am thrilled that she is doing this and can always dash to her place for a photo opportunity. I know getting to goal is hard but can forget the fact that maintenance for life will take the same amount of determination it takes to lose it. I was in Sussan's the other day and they had a sale, it made me think about clothes shopping as a size 14. I can imagine the bargains I will be able to pick up and I adore clothes so am trying to imagine what I may be like, not just physically but emotionally as well. This week the plan is to: * Keep the water happening * Remember to eat enough food * Try and ensure that I am organised with my food * Measure myself Anyway I am focused on today, tomorrow and Wednesday's eating. I am going to ensure that I eat exactly what I need to eat to lose weight. I havent weighed myself yet and am hoping for a good weight loss...but needing to remember that weight loss is not the only way to see success. My eating has been good, my water intake better and no sugar foods. Christmas lunch I will eat but I am not using Christmas as an excuse to gorge. The best dog in the world - see photo and I are driving to Broken Hill - 6 hrs in a car. We will have our thermos of peppermint tea, our healthy snacks and yoghurt and not eat for 6 hours on the road trip. Before it was a tidal wave of lollies, crisps, chocolate and toasted sandwiches. Nothing cant be achieved with a bit of positive thinking. I will do this....

ADDICTIONS

Well last night I headed up to my hairdresser for a bit of indulging and a new style. Was running late and therefore my food choice wasnt the best. It has given me food for thought. If in future I know this is going to happen I need to be a bit more organised and perhaps think about my food options, I ended up having a yiros. I thoroughly enjoyed it but I should have had a stir fry or salad. Every day is a learning experience and so I have decided that one slip up isnt going to kill me. I will try and be a lot stronger this week. I dont have alot on eating wise other than Gill's Christmas party so I am seeking a good weight loss this week. I am excited about the new WW food plan so hoping that it is good. I am a bit concerned that so many people on the WW site are so stressed about it - I trust WW to do the right thing but if I need to change slightly what I am doing, then I will do it. Now addictions - of course I have an addiction to the hairdresser, my grooming, food and in particular sugar which I am finding is going away - thankfully because I have increased my protein which does help. I want to be addicted to exercise. I fell in Grenfell Street in the city yesterday - not a pretty sight when all 117 kilos of me when down on my knee which today is like a balloon so I will not be walking for the next few days. I am so in awe of the ladies on the WW site that have an addiction to exercise .....I wish but I am hoping this will happen in the fullness of time. My dream about anything else is to run so when I am down to at least double digits and around the 90 kg I may bite the bullet and get a trainer that can help me with my dream. I am organised with my food today, got up early had my cereal, organised lunch and my yoghurt. Yesterday I had all 2 litres of water and up for the challenge today - althought I do spend half my life in the toilet. I need to remember this positive feelings for when I am not feeling so positive. This is a long journey and one with lessons to be learnt and full of peaks and valleys. I suppose it comes down to me. I can only imagine my feeling of excitement when I am down to double digits but that is a way off....at the moment I am concentrating on 5 kilos at a time. Enough of me for the moment.

Week 2 Weigh In

Well I went to my WW class last night and meet my friend Karen there. I had a headache which was purely caused by the worrying about a loss or not. Psychologically in the early stages a loss just simply "does my head in". I got on the scales and it recorded a loss of 0.2. Obviously, it would have been nicer for a larger number but I am still struggling with why the week after my period is when I am heavier. Anyway I am not going to focus on the numbers but just aim for a loss each week. Anyway it does average out to 1kg a week. This week's lecture was about water. I am going to attempt to work into my week the lessons learnt at my meeting. I do drink 3/4 of my water - about 1.5 litres a day. I am going to aim for 2 litres this week. I dont include the ole peppermint tea etc in that figure. I got out my drink bottle and put one in my bag. It is the same one as I have at work. A Tupperware one that contains 560mls of liquid. So I drank it easily on the way to work and anticipate I will do the same on the way home. That is 1 litre without trying. I have a litre on my desk and want to drink that today. Once you get used to the water thing it is quite easy. My aim this week is to just do what I have been doing. I have a Christmas party on Sat night so will eat a bit before hand - may make a green salad and hopefully I wont be starving. I am going to have a few wines within my 21 extra core points but you need to be able to have treats etc - if you are going to maintain this lifestyle you must have treats. I would prefer to have a glass of wine (good wine and preferrably NZ Sav Blanc) to a chocolate. Anyway, inspired again for another week. I need to think about what I am going to buy myself for my first 5kgs. I am very inspired by the positivity of Nicky's blog and honesty. I believe writing your feelings down is good for the soul. Got my neighbour to take a photo of me. Lied to her (well a little white lie). Told her I needed a photo taken for a friend for her assignment. I am not prepared to tell friends yet that I am on WW. They are supportive but I dont want them thinking "here we go again". My darling friend Tania is always supportive so she obviously knows. The family will be the last to know - the pressure they put on me is not helpful. This is for me - I want to just feel a bit more confident. I think I am well groomed and quite presentable as I am but can be dynamite at 71 kgs. I will do this and it is for me. Just think of all those clothes I can buy.....So this week I am focused, inspired and ready for another weight loss. Will post some photos on the weekend.

Overview

What I need to consider:

• Baby steps. This journey will take a while
• Ensure I eat all my food groups
• Ensure I drink all my water
• DONT BE HARD ON MYSELF
• Remember I am not alone
• Just remember the path ahead, what I have done in the past is gone.
• Blogs, Blogs, and more blogs and my beloved WW site - so much inspiration

If I have gained there is nothing I can do.

I have just read Nicky's blog. I am inspired and just have to face facts that not every week is a weight loss week. It doesnt matter what I do today or tomorrow, the fact is either I have gained or I have lost. I know I have eaten well, drank my water and do need to exercise and will continue with that. Obviously down the track when I am closer to goal I may consider joining a gym for toning purposes but not till later on.

Scared about tomorrow

Well I am a tad stressed. After dealing with my biopsy which thankfully is okay and sticking to my WW plan my scales havent moved. My rings are tight and despite drinking gallons of water it hasnt moved. I am hoping it is an issue with the battery. WW tomorrow night and I am going to be bitterly disappointed if I havent lost. I do think I need to remember to eat morning and afternoon tea as at my last meeting it was advised to not leave it too long between meals. I feel from my stomach that I have lost - you know you can tell when you have. Anyway stressing about it doesnt do any good and is a reminder that not every week is going to be a loss. Anyway I am sure that even if it is a loss of 100 grams I will be happy but somehow I dont think so. I will report in .

First weigh in results and update

I weighed in last Wednesday - 3-12-08 and lost 1.8kgs with my period due and a few dinners on the agenda. I was pleased with that and found it easy. I think having your head in the right zone is the way to go. I find that I treat WW as a hobby - it is something I enjoy - even the tracking on line which I find is great for accountability and just damn easy. I am keeping this a bit of a secret from family and some friends purely as they will roll their eyes and say "not again" but this is something I am doing for me - I find that I need to do this and once and for all prove to myself I am capable of losing this damn weight. I am weighing in at home and last night was the same weight and even though the eating has been good I ensured today (Monday) that my fluid intake of water is exceptional and even now at 12.16pm I realise that I may well be retaining fluid. I must remember to carry water on the tram in the morning and night. Actually I find I have keep some of the things I learnt from my dietician going and in conjunction with ww core program so far so good. It is a long journey but I will have to address the issue with my family but want to wait until 20kgs are off - I will try and bluff them for as long as I can. I have to have a biopsy today so really could have ate and ate but restrained myself and am pleased I have done that. This week shouldnt be too bad for eating - have a Christmas party at Gill's on Saturday night so will eat dinner before going out and then try and avoid the nibbles and plan for a few glasses of wine. I must remember that being in the zone mentally is probably the No. 1 key for me. A lot of us know what to do to lose weight but mentally we have to be in the right spot. I am hoping that between now and Christmas that exercise is the next important thing but I am lucky the best dog in the world needs walking so I can kill 2 birds with one stone....Will report in at my 2nd weigh in on Wednesday.