About Me

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Adelaide , South Australia, Australia
I am 49 and heading for 50. This is about me, the highs and lows and a lot of stuff re weight loss, so follow me and see wha I am up to !!

The wonderful people that follow and support me !

Friday, January 30, 2009

I have had enough of this heat

Well everyone, I got to my car last night in Adelaide and it is 43.5 degrees. This heat isnt fun anymore. The benefit is though you dont feel like eating. Had an excellent eating day yesterday and had a delightful piece of grilled ling with Thai seasoning and a large salad and WW wedges. My rings are tight today so I must ensure I am drinking lots of water. On the way to work this morning my air con in the car stopped, the steering was tight and the battery light was on. Normally I would be in a panic and eat. My Astra is expensive to service but I just talked myself through it and didnt turn to food. Not much else to report, I am not exercising in this heat and am not going to feel guilty about it. When I was in the shower this morning I looked at my stomach and thought it looked like I had lost some weight off of it and it always shows in my face so I am hoping for a good loss next week. I do realise that exercise is going to increase the amount I lose. Anyway I will sign off for now. Stay Cool.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Back in the saddle

Well everyone in bloggerland I am pleased to say I am back on the horse. In Adelaide at present it is horrendously hot, so hot that the tram tracks are bending in the heat - there is no way that I am going to walk in this heat. I have found a good site which tracks the kilometres walked and is called http://www.mapmyrun.com and worth a look. I have decided to buy a 8g ipod and download not only music but books - I love reading and I think it would be good to listen to a book whilst I walk, especially if it is a good author. With my library you can borrow talking books so that will so that I can download them onto the ipod. I have realised in the last few days that I am not eating enough, today I have had to add avocado and some WW wedges to my evening meal tonight which was fish and salad. Anyway, saving 4 points for the weekend as I am having a dinner party and am making a lemon tart for the others and will work out the points and have a sliver. The main course is WW friendly but the good thing with Weight Watchers is that you can have these treats if you work them into your daily and weekly points. I dont feel guilty for having a piece of this tart - my other courses are from WW books but I dont think fruit salad is quite the same plus a couple of glasses of good wine but I am content to have a couple of glasses and dont have treats or dessert during the week like WW ice-cream. Anyway, I am meeting my WW buddy on the weekend to nut out our plan for our WW journey. Obviously exercise and fitting it in is going to be a thing we talk about. Overall I am pleased with my eating, last night I didnt itch as much and it goes to show adequate protein and no sugary foods works to help reduce my itching. So I am determined to have a good weight loss next week and am sure that I will - I just need to focus on the task ahead and ensure that I track, drink my water and try to fit in a bit of exercise.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It is time to stop feeling sorry for myself, dust myself off and get onto the task ahead

Well, what can I say. My last weigh in I gained 300 grams and was pure and simply devastated. Thinking that I would have lost at least a kilo. I suppose, being a Virgo one of my faults is that I simply put too much expectation on myself. I went into a downhill spiral from Wednesday to Monday and spent the long weekend in bed. I must admit to feeling unwell, extremely tired and teary. I do suffer slight depression and have been on anti depressants for some 10 months, they certainly help but saying that i think the weight is somehow connected to the depression. My hope is that once the weight comes off, my mental state will be good and the insomnia may ease a bit. On the outside, no one would know that I suffer from this, only a few close friends and my mother who is wonderfully supportive in this, because she does understand. Anyway, I ate all last week which of course made me more depressed. On Monday I didn't get out of bed. I suppose that is easy when you live by yourself, so Vince the wonderdog and I cuddled for most of the day. He is the love of my life. Tuesday morning I got up and got back into it and had a stern talking to myself in the shower which is the place I do all my thinking. Had a fabulous eating day, probably a little light on the points but overall great. Have really got into fish and had a huge green salad and fish with Moroccan Seasoning on it and really enjoyed it. A while ago, when seeing a dieticIan the main bit of advice she gave me was about protein. That if I have been eating badly to increase my protein as this will stablise the sugars. I didn't really eat sugary foods but more savory. When I eat badly I suffer from terrible itching, this is a side effect of hypoinsulemia and headaches and mood swings. There is a lesson in this. At 3.30am this morning I am in the bathroom rubbing tea tree oil on my skin as I was itching uncontrollably. A side effect of bad eating. The lessons I get from WW are:
  1. Weight loss
  2. Learning value lessons from my WW meetings to allow me to maintain my weight
  3. Improving your mental state
  4. Making exercise a valuable part of your day
  5. The benefits of tracking, not just whilst losing weight
  6. Support and friendship from online members, bloggers, meetings
So, it has been a step back this week but a valuable lesson really. This is a lifetime thing, not just about losing those 50 kilos but keeping them off. I am having a dinner party on Saturday night. I just love cooking and had fun looking through not only my WW cookbooks but also my Symply Too Good To Be True books but also all my other books as there are lots of recipes which are able to be incorporated in my food intake and some just with a little tweaking. On the website this week, there has been alot of talk about sensitivity re WW and self image. I carry around such issues and they are all to do with my weight. I know 50 kilos off I will be a happier and more vibrant person. When I find things are tough I have a few blogs from inspirational women who have lost so much weight that I am just in awe. Lisa is one that has lost such a huge amount of weight that I can believe someone can turn their live around so much. I believe (which is of course rubbish) that men find me invisible. I know I am very well groomed and do take are and pride in my appearance and know that I am a people person. The problem is that I dont see myself as others do. So, I have rambled enough. I didnt walk this morning, purely because in Adelaide it was far too hot but I am going to do the walking in the morning and enquire about aquaaerobics. Anyway, I feel back to my normal self and trying to just go with the flow and not put too much expectation on myself. My WW buddy is meeting me on Saturday at Colonades for a chat and my other WW buddy Tania and I have having dinner on the 11th. So I have wonderful women in my life that I can be totally honest with an they dont think I am weird. I believe the WW forums are such a good support when things are going downhill. Anyway, please send positive vibes my way and also I would love it if you could follow my blog and add your name as a follower. This does help me alot and is such a support.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Planning is the key to success

My family went home today, actually it was so easy now that my mum is watching her weight.. I am now more determined than ever to keep focused and follow the WW rules and principles, as the last thing I want is my mother to be more successful than I am. Isnt that shocking. I would die if she lost all her weight quite easily - obviously 13 kilos compared to 50 is still a big difference but all the same. Having people stay with you is good but your planning goes out the window, as does the tracking. I think planning a few meals for the freezer when you cant be bothered cooking, having enough food in the freezer or panty for a quick WW meal and planning the meals for the week is going to help me have constant losses. I note that people on the WW forum are all obsessed with amounts they lose, a lady the other day lost in her 2nd week a kilo and complained that she had only lost 3.4 in two weeks. I refuse to do this and will keep going and not worry if I lose 100 grams, all losses add up. Of course I would like bigger weight losses, that is only natural but this is going to be a long journey to goal and I just have to keep going, whilst it hasnt been hard, I think my mental state has been good and I do think about what I am eating. Although I need to plan for a few snacks at the odd time I feel like something. I think those little snack packs of rice crackers and salsa might be good to just carry in your bag. Anyway, tomorrow I am going to be up at 6am and out the door with Vince the wonderdog. I have a MP3 player my mother brought for me (actually given to her) but it is enough to put my favorite songs on, if I find it benefical I will buy myself a IPod with a reasonable capacity so that I can download my favorite songs or a audio book which I also thought was a good idea. I wont like getting up at 6am but I know I can do it. The dog will go mental as he will adore it and as he is my favorite thing in the entire world I will tell myself it is for Vince's benefit. I plan to post more photos of meals, events etc on this blog. Whilst my Mum was down she was on my computer alot, I was paranoid that she would find this blog, I never mean to be derotagory about her but this blog is about me releasing my feelings, thoughts and actions so that when I am at goal I can review what I have achieved, when I am struggling to review previous entries. Anyway, I will report in tomorrow with my WW results.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Weekend update

Well what can I say. The weekend went too fast. I have my mother and father down at present. My mother has been to a cardiologist who has advised that she needs to lose weight. Of course I am supportive, but not surprised, and certainly didnt give her a hard time like she has given me. Although the weight she needs to lose is debatable. She says around 8 kilos and I think more like 13 kilos. Anyway, I havent mentioned WW to her - she would just give me a hard time and say "what again" but at least the weekend was easy to manage but the water intake wasnt up to scratch. I have decided to buy 2 water purifiyer jugs for home and work as it certainly does taste nicer. We had some lovely Ling fish on the weekend just grilled with cracked black pepper and lemon juice - absolutely delicious but unfortunately mother is now obssessed more than normal about losing weight, but I hope she does it and realises it isnt an easy process. I havent weighed myself at home, so have no idea how I am going. I must say my exercise routine is terrible but I must say that it is as hot as hell today in Adelaide - but that isnt an excuse. I am DETERMINED to get this exercise routine organised. My parents go home tomorrow if all is okay with mum's doctor and then on Wednesday I am going to be up with Vince the wonderdog and out that door walking at 6am then it is done for the day. Walking I know is good for the mind plus the physical aspect and helps aid weight loss and I really want it to be as routine as cleaning your teeth. My rings on my finger are as tight as hell today - it is just boiling hot so even more important to keep the water intake up. I am so pleased my lovely leader is staying, I think it is important to have a leader you have faith in. Anyway, must go.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Another Loss - slow and steady wins the race

Well weighed in last night and lost another 600 grams, so am very pleased with that. I havent exercised at all and now that I am in a routine with the food I am now ready to tackle the exercise. I am sure that again if I start off slowly then I can do it. At the moment I am only interested in walking - as it is free. My ideas are:
  • Walk in the morning before work; or
  • Get off the tram at an earlier stop and walk into work; or
  • Walk at lunchtime; or
  • Work after work.
I suppose mornings are my preferred option and really am going to try and do this, it would make my day easier and if I am free I can do a quick walk at lunchtime. Exercise will speed up the weight loss, which has been slow but then all those 0.3's etc do add up. I refuse to put pressure on myself to lose huge amounts each week. Somehow we have in our heads to lose 1kg each week - this is unrealistic and I am happy to have more constant losses which at the present are relatively easy. On the good news front I have found out that my leader Jean is coming back - I am thrilled as I do like her meetings and she is supportive and compassionate. I had a good talk to a lady called Kim who organises all the meetings and in particular the city meetings and she asked my opinion which was nice. I thought she needed to accommodate the 1 oclock lunch hours a bit more and it was nice that she valued my opinion. I did congratulate her on the room at the city meetings, it is fabulous with a bright blue wall with WW on it and set out fabulously with all the products. I am going to try and fit in another meeting other than my Wednesday meeting because I do enjoy them and find them inspirational. Well, the road is a long one and I think I have the patience to follow this through as when you have 50 kilos to lose it is not going to happen in 12 months with a loss of 1kg each week - that is unrealistic. One of the solicitors in our chambers sent me this photo with his darling son who just liked to cuddle me - I think that I am soft and cuddly. I nearly died when I saw the photo - the arms and back fat. Golly Gee but things will change and slowly and steady the weight will come off (hopefully those arms). Anyway, this week I want to try a new recipe that I can freeze as there are some days when you just can be bothered cooking. I actually look forward to the weeks ahead and love the new week, the anticipation of what I am going to lose this week.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Weigh in Day

Well after my slight hiccup the other night I am back into the groove well and truly. The difference is although one bad meal, I did not have the attitude of "well I have done it now, I may as well eat". So it was just the one meal and I got back into my program - that in itself is a vast improvement. I have discovered Patak's Indian Pastes (not the sauce) are pretty low in points and are around 2.5 points. As an Indian fanatic it is good to have a few options I can cook at home and freeze. My Rogan Josh is core friendly and if I feel like a different option I now have the Patak's sauce. I think it is important that I make my food interesting and enjoyable. My breakfast and lunches are pretty standard and so my evening meal is the meal I enjoy the most. Tonight is weigh in night - I am hoping to find out whether my leader Jean is staying, I truly hope so as I enjoy her meetings and find that what she says makes sense and takes an avid interest in how we go. My diet buddy cant go for the next two weeks so I will go to my normal meeting this week and perhaps the city meeting next week - after all it is around the corner from work. I will report in how I am go with my weigh in tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Confessions of a binger

Well the title says it all. I went to the supermarket just to buy some sliced turkey. For some reason I felt a bit off and ended up eating a snickers, a mars bar, a bun and a bottle of coke - I dont even like Coke. So today I am feeling really ANGRY at myself. I must say that I am exceptionally tired at present and feel in awe of these ladies on WW that have lost tonnes of weight and somehow have got energy and the urge to exercise. I know this will come. I dont know why I felt the need to binge but thankfully it was only 1 meal and not too much damage done. Anyway have confessed all my sins. It is a scorcher in Adelaide tonight so may try and get my walking in after dark when it is cooler - poor Vince the wonderdog wont cope in the head - as will his mum.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Weekend update and decisions have been made

Well here we are again and it is Monday already. I am pleased to report that my weekend was great food wise and I suppose with each passing week it gets easier. On Saturday night I made a curry which was delicious and instead to doing it from scratch like I normally do I used the Patak's paste and found it was only around 2.5 points for the paste and very nice so will be adding this to my meals on a regular basis. I believe very much in the power of positive thinking and as my mother says "being the master of your own destiny" I have a good friend - well he is more than a friend and has been for 13 years but obviously commitment phobic. We get on very well but I need more and have decided if I am to have the best life possible then I need to cut the ties with him. This is going to be difficult and emotional but really if I am to meet my soul mate hanging around with Michael is not the answer. Now I am feeling confident with my professional life, private life and well on the way with WW and enjoying every moment of it I think I need to do this. How funny, 6 months ago I just wouldnt have been able to do it but I think because I am in the zone with WW and happy with how I am going, I am now ready. This week I just plan to keep going the way I have been and using my tracker and being perfectly honest with it. I dearly hope for a good weight loss on Wednesday.

Friday, January 9, 2009

How I am feeling

My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)

Feeling so positive is like a drug

Well, I am still on a high after my loss over Christmas and New Year. So this week I am feeling quite positive and it is good to be back into the groove. I really need to organise my lunch and breakfast the night before, as I am a chronic insomniac the mornings are very hard. I am hoping that with any significant weight loss that my physical symptoms like my feet and the chronic insomnia I have suffered for 20 years will improve. Being overweight not only is unhealthy for the physical but also psychologically. It seems to me that being overweight has such a dramatic effect on our mental state and allowing us to put ourselves first and believing that we have every right to do this. As well, just stand up for our rights and addressing issues with family, friends or in the workplace I feel that I dont necessarily do - mainly as I dont believe in myself. Part of this has been years of being told that somehow being overweight and single is the worst thing in the world - it is not. I went into Country Road yesterday. Not that I can fit into their clothes but wanted to reinforce what it would be like to be able to go into any shop and buy an outfit and not just having to go to Target, My Size, TS14 and autograph purely as they cater for the over 16's. With the sales being on it has made me realise how easy and cheaply I could dress if Iwas a smaller size. So from now on every now and again I am going to go into a shop that I cant fit into the clothes and just have a look. My other passion other than cooking and food is clothes. I dont go overboard but am proud that I can manage at a size 18-20 to put together outfits that look modern and suit my size and cover that stomach of mine. This weekend my goal is WATER. I will take my bottles wherever I go and it is important to keep my water intake and make carrying water with me at all times an everyday thing like brushing our teeth. Overall it is nice to feel positive. I think each week when I have a weight loss it just encourages me more for the next week. My short term goals are to reward myself at every 5 kilos and at my 10%. The magic double figures is really a huge milestone for me....at the present I have set this as my goal weight because it is something I can work towards without being unrealistic. Once that has been achieved I can look at getting to 71 kgs - my WW goal weight. I can imagine double figures to be a hugely emotional time for me. Anyway I think I have rambled long enough.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

YES, YES, YES, AND YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to my WW meeting last night. Instead of going to my normal meeting, I decided to try one in the city around the corner from work with my WW buddie Karen. Our leader is away at present and we are unsure if she is coming back, I sincerely hope so as I do love her compassion, words of wisdom and overall way she handles a meeting in her quiet way. Anyway, as I posted yesterday I was sure I gained - why? because I did not track, drink enough water and exercise and I suppose was having an argument with my home scales, the lesson I learned this week is IGNORE my scales. Anyway, back to the point, I weighed in and lost 300 grams - this included Christmas, New Years, Holidays, Family Stresses and TTOM, so overall I was estatic. Most people told me "you never lose over Christmas", these are not WW people, but I proved to myself that it can be done - I did set myself a challenge that I would lose over Christmas and New Year AND I DID IT. I am going to reward myself with something special. I actually am very proud I did it. This week I am just focused on getting back in the routine, trying a new recipe and fluffing around with the program and trying to be organised as possible with my food. Exercise must happen, I really need to walk at 6am in the morning, a walking buddie would be fabulous but I suppose really it is up to me to get up, but I am not a morning person as I dont sleep but that isnt an excuse. Anyway, I feel quite positive today and a spring in my step. Somehow, I feel I am on the right path. I can honestly say when I am on the WW program that I dont feel at all deprived and it is quite easy really. It is really a good program that it is flexible in that most foods are able to be eaten, allocated with our points or simply filling foods. My one whinge is that WW are not promoting the Simply Filling technique with the 21 additonal points - the old CORE program. For the life of me I dont understand but at least the E-Tools allows me to do it. I am going to write an email to WW and ask them why. When I mentioned that I was doing simply filling foods (old core) my leader last night kept saying as long as your within your allocated daily points- THAT IS NOT THE CASE, you only need to allocate those extra 21 points. Anyway all in bloggerland, I am a happy camper and feeling positive that if I do the right things them at next week's meeting I will record a good loss. We all must remember that we shouldnt put too much pressure on ourselves to lose a certain amount of weight a week. Any loss even 100 grams is good, we should also look at what we have done that week and acknowledged that even though sometimes the scales dont reflect what we have done, we have done the right things. Anyway - I am sure that next week I will record a good loss. I have decided that when I get to 5kgs down I will buy a bottle of Vera Wang perfume. I believe it is important to reward yourself along the way. 5kgs is a good amount and just shy of a stone which is why I chose this amount. Can I say................I am a superstar, after all if we don't love ourselves who will !!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Fish Cakes - what a disaster

One of the things that I was planning to do this year was try a new recipe each fortnight (my pay period) or weekly if I feel inclined. Last night I saw a recipe on the WW site for quick and easy fish cakes. So brought my fish to make a 1/2 recipe so it serves 2 instead of 4. It was a disaster and had no flavour but will do an internet search to find an alternative. I do loving cooking so thought really I am trying to provide myself with good, flavour filled foods. Today I put the scales in the shed. I weighed in this morning and still unsure if the scales are wrong or I have gained and decided enough is enough and they have been removed to the shed. I even removed the battery. If I have stuck to the program, Simply Filling or Satisfaction plans, walked, drank my water and tracked it will result in a loss. I dont need the scales for that. Anyway, tonight is weigh in night. If I have gained so be it and I must move forward. I now have the house to myself and now back into my routine and ready to embrace 2009 with constant losses and a good loss next week. I am trying to eat out of my freezer at present and hopefully restock it with my Core/simply filling foods. I am planning to do 2 weeks of simply filling/core and then one week of just points but with simply filling. Doing points will allow me to have a few other foods, which I know I can have now, that aren't normally in my diet when on Core. I plan also to document and review the WW recipes or recipes I try - like DazyDee does on her website. Mainly because I love cooking and it allows me to fluff around with recipes and manipulating them other foods to make them my own and find what recipes for good for entertaining or just family meals. My goal for this week is:
  1. Ensure my water intake is adequate and make sure my 600ml bottle is carried everywhere;
  2. Ensure that even though I have a 3 dinners this week that I not let this upset me;
  3. No wine this week - well perhaps a couple of glasses on Thursday night with Jo;
  4. Start an exercise program with Vince - aka the world's BEST dog - ideally walking at 6am - DESPITE INSOMNIA;
  5. Not let my mother be an excuse to eat.
Anyway I think really I have coped over Christmas/New Year extremely well - not turning to food is probably a huge thing. I suppose my vision is this time next year to be heading towards goal. I dont have expectations of a time frame, constant losses are what is important. If you can follow the program and have a life, eat out and do all this without depriving yourself then you are on your way. I am not at the stage of being able to let everyone know I am dieting but Karen (my WW buddie), Tania and my boss know. I really want to be 20 kgs down before I tell anyone, if I am even ready at this point, somehow it is a personal journey and a personal challenge and not worried or have the need to tell everyone. I fully expect a gain but saying that I intend to ensure that next weigh in I have an excellent weight loss which will counteract any gain. My food intake has been good but I suppose the lack of routine, walks and water play a part and not enough tracking. I enjoy the tracking on-line and so plan to do this and post my weekly food next week.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

An update on Christmas and those damn scales

I havent had 2 seconds to blog for a while so here it goes. The last time I weighed in was just before Christmas - 22nd December 2008. I was distressed to have a gain of 3o0 grams on my weigh in on the Monday night - thought I would have lost a kilo....who knows why!. Anyway the 23rd December 2008 I had my work Christmas show. Pleased to say it was chilled seafood - yummy prawns, oysters, lobster and octopus - not fried but fresh and not a chip in sight. Had a few wines and and coffee afterwards. 24th to 29th December 2008 was in Broken Hill. Mum did a fantastic lunch and I turned down Cheesecake. Overall despite her hurtful comments regarding my weight, which reinforces why she will never know I am doing WW - she will say AGAIN. I was reasonably good ...actually every good. I had New Years Eve had with a close friend and manipulated my favourite Rogan Josh recipe - I do it from scratch and omitted the ghee and was pleased to find it was just as nice and now CORE approved and easily fitted into my WW menus. I had my family down unexpectedly from 29/12/08 till yesterday -so my routine was out the window with NO EXERCISE. I had such high hopes of really getting into the swing of the WW program but I suppose on the positive is that even though I was stressed to the max - with a lot of people in all unit I didnt binge my way through the emotional issues of it all - although I just wanted 5 minutes to myself and my lovely routine. My family have now gone back and today I am back into it all with such enthusiasm. I have been on and off my home scales as I am slightly ...well hugely worried about my weigh in on Wednesday night - I am hoping for a loss but with no exercise I am not sure but overall I know my eating has been a huge improvement on years gone by I still expect a gain as it is just finishing my period and this is always a week where I would gain. Funny though, not the week before the period. Anyway I think once I weigh in on Wednesday 7th January 2009 I really going to go with gun's blazing so to speak and embrace all things WW. I am lucky though my head is in a good frame of mind and I am sure that overall the following week will be a bigger weight loss. Now the scales. I had this chat with my friend Tania. She has just rejoined and has put her scales away. Probably a good idea. I normally find them an inspiration. If they record a loss it inspires me to be even better to record a bigger weight loss and if they are recording a gain reinforces my need to be even stricter. My scales are recording large fluctations which I am not sure are because I have gained or the scales are in need of being replaced. Anyway I think what I need is just to have a few quiet weeks and just get back into my routine. and need to divorce myself from my home scales. Exercise needs to be tackled so going to do a few walks with Vince the best dog in the entire world and universe and just build up. I have an MP3 player given to me by my mother so will record my favourite songs and see if that is going to be of help. Exercise just doesnt fill me with joy but I know that the WW online community have alot of people that have been like me and now are running. Running is my ultimate goal and has been for about 25 years. The idea of running and all that freedom somehow has been a goal. Anyway I will report in tomorrow. I am going to the Central Market at lunchtime for some Ling fish and am making some fish patties from the WW recipe site. I love cooking and am planning to try 1 new recipe per fortnight which is my pay period. I feel inspired but nervous at the same time. I am 200% positive I will have another gain but will see how I go. I am not setting any New Years Resolutions as anything slightly to do with exercise and weight loss is a lifetime thing and I dont believe I should be resoluting this....it should just fall into place.