About Me

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Adelaide , South Australia, Australia
I am 49 and heading for 50. This is about me, the highs and lows and a lot of stuff re weight loss, so follow me and see wha I am up to !!

The wonderful people that follow and support me !

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Struggling this week. Perhaps I needed to weigh

Well thinking that the No Weigh Pass was a good idea - now I am not sure. I have struggled this week and for some reason have snacked more t han I should, with TOM due tomorrow I am sure that as per my normal cycle I gain when my period is due. I am fine with the fact that this occurs. I thinking going on those scales is what I need. It does do my head in, I do go a bit mad, I do over analyse it but saying that it does make you accountable.
The lack, of children or a meaningful relationship has always caused me grief - whether I am right or wrong, thanks to my mother I have always put my lack of male attention down to being overweight. I know, I know, this is silly talk. My friend Regan has had her beautiful baby, she has been married for ever and finally has fallen pregnant, we had some lovely chats about this subject - so co-incidentally is my dog groomer and I have always been honest about how hard it is when babies are born. Her little angel arrived yesterday and I have been a blubbering mess ever since, it doesnt help that I have PMS. But saying all this , my weight has been the blame for everything that has gone wrong in my life and I plan to get to that bloody 71 kgs, become a Lifetime Member. My question to myself would be "what are you going to do when you can't blame your weight?". Anyway, tomorrow will be a gain and I deserve a gain. It reinforces my philosophy that I need to be 100% good and nothing even 98% is enough. If I am 100% good and the scales are not kind then I can happily say - well so be it. Anyway, this blog was and is more about me putting my feelings down , dusting myself off and stop feeling so god damn sorry for myself. I have a great job, friends, family and a fabulous dog - what more could I want. Must go but hopefully tomorrow's weigh helps me. Martine


Vic said...

Postive is as postive does!!

Be postive have postive outcomes!
Stop beating yourself up for the past how can you change that?

What can you change..?? Your future and things to come.

Stop giving yourself excuses and things to blame your choices on.. just becuase it was.. doesn't mean its needs to stay that way.

Not being mean just giving some ideas...

Take care honey!!!

Anonymous said...

Martine, I've followed your blog for a while now and have admire you from afar.

You put so much pressure on yourself to be good 100% of the time ... and if you gain this week, so be it ... but you KNOW you will get right back on the wagon.

GOod luck,


Tania said...

Martine, I know i've said this to you before but I really think you need to talk to your mum about your weight loss issues. Not only do I think she would be shocked to hear the effect her comments have had on you but I also think you'll feel so empowered for confronting this issue head on.

I think we have a habit of hiding behind our weight, using it as an excuse for things that go wrong in our lives and it's tough to break habits like that that have been with us for such a long time, but we WILL get there.

Regardless of what the scales say from one week to the next, it's a check in point, a chance to reassess what you did, what you can do better and move forward.

I can only imagine the battles that you face each day, I don't imagine it's easy to be single and childless and times like this must be extremely tough for you. But I think regardless of our situations we have obstacles on a daily basis to deal with, I know you have what it takes to create the person you want to be and the life you want to have, it all takes one step at a time. Will give you a call over the weekend, take care mate xx