The lack, of children or a meaningful relationship has always caused me grief - whether I am right or wrong, thanks to my mother I have always put my lack of male attention down to being overweight. I know, I know, this is silly talk. My friend Regan has had her beautiful baby, she has been married for ever and finally has fallen pregnant, we had some lovely chats about this subject - so co-incidentally is my dog groomer and I have always been honest about how hard it is when babies are born. Her little angel arrived yesterday and I have been a blubbering mess ever since, it doesnt help that I have PMS. But saying all this , my weight has been the blame for everything that has gone wrong in my life and I plan to get to that bloody 71 kgs, become a Lifetime Member. My question to myself would be "what are you going to do when you can't blame your weight?". Anyway, tomorrow will be a gain and I deserve a gain. It reinforces my philosophy that I need to be 100% good and nothing even 98% is enough. If I am 100% good and the scales are not kind then I can happily say - well so be it. Anyway, this blog was and is more about me putting my feelings down , dusting myself off and stop feeling so god damn sorry for myself. I have a great job, friends, family and a fabulous dog - what more could I want. Must go but hopefully tomorrow's weigh helps me. Martine
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Struggling this week. Perhaps I needed to weigh
Well thinking that the No Weigh Pass was a good idea - now I am not sure. I have struggled this week and for some reason have snacked more t han I should, with TOM due tomorrow I am sure that as per my normal cycle I gain when my period is due. I am fine with the fact that this occurs. I thinking going on those scales is what I need. It does do my head in, I do go a bit mad, I do over analyse it but saying that it does make you accountable.