I know I have been missing in action, so much has happened I don’t quite know what to say, plus work is busy and that is normally when I post on my blog.
I simply need to organise my time better !!!
Firstly will do the personal stuff first, the weight stuff will be later.
Since my last post the good old depression has made a comeback. I must admit that going off the anti depressants worked for a while in conjunction with food and exercise, but so much has happened that I found that I was spending the weekends in bed asleep. I realised that I needed to be on them and stay on them. I think it is the shame of them that gets me, but really if I needed blood pressure tablets then I would take them etc. So have gone back on them and plan to stay back on them, quite frankly the put peace into my life and I also don’t walk around feeling sorry for myself.
Since my last post my Nana passed away, I was close to her and as Dad was an only child, she specifically wanted a private funeral. She went quickly over a two week period and I am thankful that at Christmas I had the “death talk” with her. My Nana had suffered with mental illness her whole life, I am thankful she is at peace now and I got to say to her how I feel. Although it does make you think about losing your own parents, a grandparent is hard enough and being single always makes this a lot harder to bear, hopefully mine are around for a while yet.
The friends with benefits situation is still off, Michael and I miss each other and speak occasionally, he misses me and I miss him but at the end of the day I deserve commitment and more. Just because things are good in the bedroom it doesn’t mean that I should hang around. I know I have made the right choice and need to open up the universe to someone that really wants to be with me and I deserve some one that is willing to try for my sake.
Two weeks ago, I stepped on a glass and ended up with blood everywhere, I had broken a glass and thought I picked it all up but didn’t have my glasses on. Anyway I stepped on the broken glass, blood absolutely everywhere, so drove myself down to the medical centre at the end of the street, had two needs in the foot which was horrific and then 5 stitches which were on the ball of my foot and as a consequence couldn’t wear a shoe except for an ugg boot to work. Not fun, the needle they gave me really hurt, normally I am quite good with needles. The stitches came out on Thursday and the wound area was quite tender, but it is improving and I anticipate being able to go back to the gym at the end of the week. The doctor wanted me to keep off it a bit.
With the gym it has been two steps forward and one step back. I was in a great routine and the foot thing happened, it seems like at the present time it is my back, going away, death etc that is stopping me. I am going to pray that nothing else happens.
Now with the weight. As you knew I was going to WW Lifestyle Centres, love my leader but the time and day were not working with work and as I work in a busy law firm, I don’t always get out at lunch.
I decided to go back to meeting, I found I needed the support. So I went back and decided that it was the right decision. I for one am a huge believer in WW, I think the program works if you stick with it and it does have the flexibility of being able to fit into my life. So far 3.3 kgs off, that is, with going away to Melbourne. I have not been for 2 weeks due the foot and have to admit my eating is appalling. This is what happens when I don’t exercise. I find that when I exercise the focus is on the exercise and the food seems to fall into place.
I am happy with my decision to go back, I think it is right for me.
Saturdays are always busy but I find that 9am on a Saturday morning is good.
Although when I go this Saturday I will gain I am confident that I am fairly relaxed about the whole thing. I realise now that joining the gym in November was the best thing I could have done. I realised that walking wasn't enough and how far I could push myself at the gym. Anyway, I am hoping next week I am back to my routine. Once I exercise the focus does go on that and I am more relaxed with the eating.
Brought a new journal to start tracking my food and thoughts and notes in it, although I like the practice of online tracking, as well it is good to make some notes on feelings, achievements etc and look back on it.
My dear friends Tania and Tina re-joined WW on Tuesday. The three of us have joined multiple times before but are sympathetic and understanding to each other, I am quite excited these beautiful girls are recommencing WW. Together we have a great support system in place. I will go to WW on Saturday morning, expecting a large gain – I simply have overloaded with sugar. Although the key to curbing this craving is increasing the protein.
Therefore, on Saturday all things hopefully will be back to normal, the foot although tender has healed and the wound is hardening up so able to go to the gym. The plan is WW on Saturday, a session at the gym and home to work out the weekly food intake.
So this is about where I have been. My emails are home have not been looked at for a while, so those wonderful girls that have emailed me, I plan to spend Saturday night sorting, replying to the emails.
It gives me great comfort that I have so many wonderful people that read my blog and that bother to email me. I promise to update my blog daily and response to emails. I suppose the wonder of antidepressants is that they make my life a happier place, thankfully they have kicked in and I am much more in control.