Another bloody birthday !

Well, the diet is out the window and I am depressed, they are linked. Friday night I went out to dinner at a Thai Restaurant which was lovely. Went with the WW online girls namely Melissa (from Sydney), Amanda, Jo S, Tina L, and myself. I got the serious doldrums when I posted the photo (see previous blog entry) and knew that if I went out to dinner the girls would be supportive and helpful. These girls I meet online and are part of the WW Support Group facebook page, they have become friends and we see each other a few times a year in person. Melissa had lost 32 ish kilograms and so I picked her brain about everything, she exercises a lot so she advised me that she eats a lot of her exercise points, she has that mental strength now and I so admire anyone that is in the zone. The other girls, god bless them, have had their struggles like me, I came out of the dinner in a better state of mind. The photo rocked me as I thought I looked great. Saturday rang out and got jobs done, had the nails done and nursed a 5 week old baby for 2 hours at my nail salon. The mother of the baby is suffering PND and so my nail lady is helping out. It was lovely. Sunday was the birthday, woke in tears and went to bed in tears. Had lunch with my best friend Joanne who always always puts such thought into her present and we had a long lesuirely lunch and then over to see the niece and nephews. It wasnt the best birthday, I am glad it is over. A lot if it becomes down to the big three - being fat - it doesn't matter how well groomed I am, being single and wanting children. I define my life by these three. What I learnt yesterday is friends like my best mate Joanne Galpin will always be there and be my rock and in my corner Back to Friday night, whilst at dinner my dear friend Tina had said she and Tania (who was unfortunately sick and unable to attend) thought i had been struggling because i had not been posting etc. How right they are. They made a suggestion, that I come to their meeting and we can support each other. Although it is out my way, I can bring the car into work on a Tuesday and drive to Mawson Lakes (15 minutes from work) and on the way home it is around 35 -40 minutes, somehow I think it will be worth it. The boss has left for Paris today, so this week I intend to get back into the swing of things with the gym, although tonight I want to go home and organise myself for the week. This time of year and the wet and cold Winter we have had, always gets everyone down. I suppose I just need to work out what I want, if I want to change my life, then I have to do it. At present I am wanting to spend more and more time at home, very unlike me and I suppose that is because I am feeling somewhat down and feeling like a fat balloon. Those that know me, know that I put effort into my appearance but how I feel inside is now starting to effect me. I might do a drive out to Mawson Lakes and see how long it takes etc. Take care everyone.