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Adelaide , South Australia, Australia
I am 49 and heading for 50. This is about me, the highs and lows and a lot of stuff re weight loss, so follow me and see wha I am up to !!

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Monday, September 21, 2009

The miseries - luckily not weight related

Well the weekend has been and gone and I spent a good part of it under the covers in bed with the world's best dog cuddle up beside me feeling sorry for myself. Luckily, none of this is weight related. Over the years and with the increase in my weight I have suffered mild depression and I know I am not the only one. Many peoples blogs I follow, friends and family suffer from this but it is hard to accept that you have this. I always feel I should be strong and again comparing myself to others doesn't help - some people seem to just cope and not be so emotional. I wish !! During the early stages of my WW journey and as work was going well I decided that I was doing so well that I could wean myself off the anti depressants "happy pills" . For months and months I have been perfectly fine but the last 3 weeks have been a struggle mentally. First comes the woe is me attitude, then comes the wishing you were dead (but I would never do anything so don't worry) and then comes the spending days in bed crying. Enough is enough and I am making an appt to see my GP and go back on my antidepressants. I note my anxiety levels are higher than normal - luckily it is not work related I adore my job and although there are going to be some changes I would prefer not to happen I know I can deal with them better with the help of medication. Although at work I am always happy and bright and never tell anyone there what is happening. Sunday although I spent in bed all day, I over ate - I know I did this and the damage is done. Today is another day and I hoping to go home and tidy up a bit and cook a lovely dinner and write down 5 things about my life I like and put that on the fridge. My life may not be how I want it but it is the only l ife I have so I need to just stop this being silly and start thinking a bit more positive. As far as WW goes, all going well and quite easy really - meeting Don for my WI on Fridays is the highlight of my week. So don't worry about me, I just need to write this down to get it out - that always helps. I have just come back from lunch and had a great lunch and realise that with the help of medication the anxiety and trying to please and be perfect is eleviated. Martine xx

5 comments:

Penny said...

Martine,

I hope you know that depression is more common that we think. I don't mean to dismiss what you are going through, but acknowledge it and hope you are okay. It sounds like you know yourself well and that's the biggest tool you can have to help yourself. I hope you are getting lots of support though. It helps to know its not all up to you. I am thinking of you anyway.

Take care,

Penny

Tania said...

Oh the last time we discussed this topic we both ended up in tears! You know i've been down that path with my PND and you know that you need to go back on the medication when you get to this stage.

Remember mate, there's no shame in taking it, in fact I think it makes you a stronger person for recognising that you need to. I'm always a phone call away if you need to talk, looking forward to dinner next week.

Trish said...

Martine

Sending hugs your way

trish

Joannes Journey said...

Martine, I know I suffer with depression also, and some days I feel like its the end, but I keep going I suffer withheaps of health issues, I should write up on my blog the lastet, I hope your doing ok I will stay in touch and keep you in my prayers I DO LOVE YOUR BLOG IT IS VERY ENCOURAGING ....i HAVE STOPED going to ww for a bit till I am on my feet again ..Hang in there you have so much support out there ,with love and hugs Joanne xx

LellyJ said...

I hope you're feeling better and good luck for your weigh in