Well Monday morning again, where did that weekend go. When things are not the best it seems like you are a magnet for bad stuff happening. Sunday was going out to lunch with a friend, was drying my hair and picked up a towel of the floor and have done my back in, I am currently walking at an angle, I can sit okay but when I stand it is difficult - just bloody brilliant, so nothing got done Sunday afternoon, had big plans for cooking and freezing stuff and making a new couscous recipe for lunch this week. Oh well ! Whilst laying on the lounge and watching Susan Boyle who I absolutely adore as she reminds me what is wrong with the world, the fact people judge you by what you look like and not what you are like inside, anyway enough of Susan Boyle, I could chat for hours about her. Anyway, the phone rings, it is Michael all very quiet and had a chat, he rang to see if I had made a decision (ie continue the way it is or I leave because I need commitment). You see, I am probably the worlds most patient person with things like this, he asked if I wanted to talk about it now (he asked me last Thursday to think about it for a week). I was a bit miffed - I replied no - I will do it when I am ready plus I won't do it on the phone, did tell him about the back. The long and short of it is I am chatting with him on Wednesday to advise I need to walk - it is so sad when we both obviously care for each other and not parting because we don't get on - just his phobia about committment. Anyway, Wednesday is the day and I intend on writing a letter to him, there are some things I will forget to say. I believe this is a hard thing for me but if I need to move forward, then I need to do this. It is interesting on people's perception of things - most if not nearly all of my friends have been supporting and have agreed, I had a friend yesterday say it isn't it better to have someone you see occasionally than no one !! NO I DESERVE BETTER!!! That would make me a door mat. The eating on the weekend was so so and so really I plan to focus this week. Brought a couple of packets of bar things (nut bars etc) and ate both of them on Saturday night. This is something that I really need to work on, being able to control foods in the house. I won't be at the gym tonight but hopefully the back is better tomorrow so I can go, as Wednesday I obviously will not be going. Anyway, life has been interesting, I sincerely believe this is the beginning of good things, at WW on Friday night they commented on how stylish etc I looked. I must admit to taking extreme care of my appearance, being larger I think personally I try that little bit harder, so thought yes I need to keep feeling good about myself when Michael isn't around, so today have some great fishnet tights on with my work suit, a beautiful bright lipstick and immaculate hair. Anyway, so the emotions keep coming but this is good, this is the next stage in my life and I am so damn proud of myself, I know that this is hard but it is how you deal with it that shows your strength as a person. The same thing with Weight Watchers, anyone else would have given up a while ago as it was too hard- I am facing my fear. I am lucky I have a few things organised in the next week or so to keep my mind and sorrow over Michael at bay. Friday night is nephew Oliver the wonderful's 7th birthday, Saturday is dinner at the British Hotel with the Weight Watchers Adelaide girls, the following weekend Mum and Dad are down and the weekend after another batch of WW girls (Kazz, Tania and Tina) for lunch and a walk. Thanks to everyone that has supported me, I love the fact that I have these powerful and compassionate women that write and comment on my blog when in fact they are strangers but aren't. I do love you all. So the focus in 14/8/10 - Mum's 70th, I plan to lost 6kgs by then and look dynamic when i go home - man or no man.