Hi girls Well, there is a bit to post today but will start where I finished off last night. Left work later than expected but had to meet Karen who wanted to give me something, it was all very mysterious, so we meet at McDonald's car park near where I live. I got there later than expected, and Karen was there to meet me and handed over Annette Sym's latest cookbook duly signed. For those living outside Australia, Annette Sym lost quite a bit of weight with Weight Watchers and I think from memory for a time might even been a leader. What she did was publish herself a low fat cookbook with the nutritional values on each recipe, including if you vary a major ingredient - for example it might say Pork and you swap it to Chicken, the nutritional panel will also say chicken. Anyway, they have been a run away success and this is book 7 I think. Karen works/worked with a lady who is Annette's best friend and got a copy signed for me as a gift. I was so so touched that someone other than myself thought of me for a change, instead of the other way around. Anyway, as I knew I wasn't going to get to the gym, I suggested a coffee, as McDonald''s was manic and there was a 20 minute wait for McCafe coffee's we declined but sat down and solved the world's problems. Got home and my aunt rang for a chat, then it was too late for the gym, so heated up a bowl of soup and tried to sleep. When I woke there was a message on facebook from an old boyfriend I dated in my very early twenties, I rang mum this morning, not that I am interested in this guy but it is lovely to think someone is flirting with me. Mum said "does he know about your weight?" to which I replied "trust me Mum, men aren't as obsessed with my weight as you are" to which she replied "Martine, you are wrong". I did advise her he saw me at Christmas. I consequently burst into tears after this but rang Karen as she does understand more than I will say on this blog. My issues with my body and self esteem come from constantly being hounded about my weight, I know I am overweight - I don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand that. I know she thinks she is helping, but my first thought was that I prove her wrong and not lose a pound. Of course, that was a thought for a micro second but I can imagine when I get to goal that I will be too thin. My darling friend Tania has for years advised me that I must address this, I agree but the thing is with my mother I will not win an argument. Weight issues are the only thing Mum and I argue about. To be honest today I was tempted to pig out, to eat a donut but talked myself through it and thought of myself and how much happier I will be thinner. I shudder to think what she will say if I lose the weight and then meet the bloke. Today for lunch I brought myself cold rolls which are low in points and extremely yummy as a treat and will go to the gym tonight even though it is the last thing that I can be bothered doing, I know that I will feel better for it. The tracking is going great guns and as I said to Karen last night, this is the last time I am doing this (ww that is), the next challenge will be maintenance. AND I BELIEVE IT. So today, even though I was upset, wanted to eat all and sundry but the thing is I didnt and that is a major step. All I need to do is focus on one day at a time. Ideally by Christmas if I could lose 10kgs by then I would be happy but as long as the scales are constantly going down that is the main thing. It is not a race. I am proud of myself today as I didnt eat.