A good and unexpected result

I went to my weigh in on Friday at 11am instead of my normal 5.20pm and was unsure how I would go, as you know I now no longer weigh in the scales at home and use my food and exercise as a quide - I thought I could have gained and low and behold a loss of 1.6 kg came up. I know part of that is the difference in the time I weigh but even so !

So the 1.6 loss has given me back my focus and I am so determined this week to have another loss. We all know that after a big loss the following week sometimes has a gain, I am determined not to let this happen to me.

I am hoping within the next week my anti-depressants will kick in and I will be feeling somewhat better, although I am a bit better I still want to sleep all day !

I am back to work on Tuesday and although there are some changes I am not happy about I am going to embrace them and focus on just doing my job. With Daylight saving starting in South Australia it is going to be ideal for me to get that walking into my routine.

Not much else to report, I had a different leader weigh me on Friday as Don my leader was at dragon boat racing and I have had her previously as a leader when I went to WW. Di (the leader) is fabulous and gave me some ideas about exercise as she advised me I was a bit like her - all or nothing and that when I plan my menus I should plan my exercise as well. So I am going to do that.

I think I really needed this good loss as it has given me the confidence and focus I needed.

Time to just focus a little harder

Well went to my weigh in on Friday and gained 600 grams. I can't put in writing how I felt but was bloody mad at the scales and myself. I know I am not defined by the scales but I do have to get to 71 kgs to get to goal and it doesnt matter how many NSV's I do, the point is I need to make those scales move. It is a combo of various things, my state of mind, not eating enough and no exercise at all.

Don my leader wants me to to fast track this week. It has been hard Friday night, Sat and Sunday has I have had functions on and threw caution to the wind and ate and drank too much. Today I have worken up a bit later as I am on holidays and got back into the groove with the food, and once the weather clears I am hoping this afternoon to take Vince the dog for a walk with me. With the lack of exercise waiting for my gym to be built is not a good enough excuse but saying that November can't come soon enough. With the exercise plan I don't want to go like a bull at a gate, next week when back at work what I plan to do this week is walk with Vince when I get home and catch an early tram in the morning and walk into work from Greenhill Road initially which is about a 20 minute walk and then get off stops earlier until I can walk in for 30 minutes plus I might try to do a lunchtime walk as well. I have an old pedometre around the place so might use that as a goal setting tool.

On previous posts I have had a few comments that I put too much pressure on myself by setting myself the challenge of being 100% focussed on this WW journey. I realise that I think that I am right in my views and thinking that 100% committment is what sets me for consistent losses. So from now on I am going to do what is right for me and just focus on this 100%. After all the WW program is not hard and I believe I can have quite a good variety of foods on it.

Saturday went on a blind date from the Oasis Active site. I fail to see how anybody meets men online, although I do know a few women that have. It turns out that the guy I meet is someone the crossed my path 20 years ago, I actually accompanied a male friend to his wedding. I am fussy with grooming and take pride in my appearance and accept that not everyone is like this but I do expect a bit of effort so that was a minus and then he put the hard word on me and really wasnt my type - why is it that the men you like never like you but the men that like you fail to rock your world.

Went to my doctor about my depression and back on the anti-depressants which I think is going to help my mental state and focus. I have a lump/enlarged gland on my neck which we have had ultra sounds on and monitoring. It has grown a bit bigger from my last appointment when it was actually smaller so I am off to the specialist to do a biopsy and look at it.

Hoping to go and buy from IPOD next week so if anyone has any great podcasts I might like can you put a post on my blog. That is going to help me with my WW journey.

So this week I am spring cleaning so hopefully burning off those calories. So today is the beginning for me and I am pleased that I have woken with some focus. The thing we all must remember is that it is about the journey and that you have not given up. I have set myself a challenge of 5 losses in a row and will buy myself something as a reward - so it is out there. I want to be 6 kgs lighter by Christmas and that is doeable.

I plan in the next month to set up a link to a recipe blog that will also have ideas for home handy hints and a variety of things and subjects - gives me something to do at 2am. I just have to find a good name for it.

The miseries - luckily not weight related

Well the weekend has been and gone and I spent a good part of it under the covers in bed with the world's best dog cuddle up beside me feeling sorry for myself. Luckily, none of this is weight related. Over the years and with the increase in my weight I have suffered mild depression and I know I am not the only one. Many peoples blogs I follow, friends and family suffer from this but it is hard to accept that you have this. I always feel I should be strong and again comparing myself to others doesn't help - some people seem to just cope and not be so emotional. I wish !! During the early stages of my WW journey and as work was going well I decided that I was doing so well that I could wean myself off the anti depressants "happy pills" . For months and months I have been perfectly fine but the last 3 weeks have been a struggle mentally. First comes the woe is me attitude, then comes the wishing you were dead (but I would never do anything so don't worry) and then comes the spending days in bed crying. Enough is enough and I am making an appt to see my GP and go back on my antidepressants. I note my anxiety levels are higher than normal - luckily it is not work related I adore my job and although there are going to be some changes I would prefer not to happen I know I can deal with them better with the help of medication. Although at work I am always happy and bright and never tell anyone there what is happening. Sunday although I spent in bed all day, I over ate - I know I did this and the damage is done. Today is another day and I hoping to go home and tidy up a bit and cook a lovely dinner and write down 5 things about my life I like and put that on the fridge. My life may not be how I want it but it is the only l ife I have so I need to just stop this being silly and start thinking a bit more positive. As far as WW goes, all going well and quite easy really - meeting Don for my WI on Fridays is the highlight of my week. So don't worry about me, I just need to write this down to get it out - that always helps. I have just come back from lunch and had a great lunch and realise that with the help of medication the anxiety and trying to please and be perfect is eleviated. Martine xx

Another Loss and some pictures of my best buddies

Here is a photo of my best mates. Joanne my absolute best friend who is always there for me, my lovely friend Kath who always gives me a compliment every time I see her and Ron who is Jo's husband and like another girlfriend- I am blessed to have these three people in my life. For them the weight is never an issue and always support me. As my family are interstate these gorgeous people and I went out. I know we all have friends like these in our lives. Jo and Kath are just such outstanding people and I am just so blessed that they are there for me 200%.

Good news on the weight loss front. As Don my leader has banned all scales from my house and not a bad thing I must say I have to rely on what food I eat, my water intake and how much exercise I have done and go by my tracker. This week has been so so and althought I have been reasonable there is always room for improvement. I have been slack with the fruit and that is my goal for this week is to eat 2 fruit a day. Water is now okay and so I manage about 1.5 to 2 litres a day. Exercise - note to self.........need for improvement.

I had felt flat this week and had some changes at work which are probably a good thing but until they happen and I am taking on a new solicitor in conjunction with my boss it is always the anticipation that causes me grief and as money was tight I felt just a little off and spent a few nights at home in bed, I do think I picked up a bit of a virus though. Anyway, tracked even when I was bad and low and behold a 1.1 loss which I am happy about. I ADORE weighing in on a Friday night as it does keep me really good on the weekend. There is something therapeutic about weighing in. It means for me the end of the week and with a loss a reward for that effort and if it is a gain it just means the start of a new week.

My Leader last week said just aim for 100 grams this week and that is what I did and it does help. We chatted about a few comments I had about perhaps being too hard on myself and comparing myself to others. My view is and will remain is that successful weight loss ladies (and men) who lose remarkable amounts are people that I can learn from . My view is that if I stick to the program I will eventually get to my WW goal of 71 kgs, fluffing around and straying isnt going to get me there. I suppose after all everyone is different, I do put pressure on myself but I like that, when I have have had a good week it is worth it. Of course this is all a learning curve and as I discussed with Don my leader WW really is user friendly and I am able to eat out or entertain easily and within my points.

I can feel a few tops getting looser and have a Postie top that I have never liked because of how it feels, I think it is a just a bit firm so I have taken every now and again to trying it on and seeing the difference as a lot of my clothes have previously been brought larger than I have needed. I know have to learn to buy my clothes a bit firm so that I can gauge when I am at goal how I am going without the scales.

So this week is another week and I am focused on what I need to do to keep the momentum going. My goals this week is to walk 3 times this week and eat 2 pieces of fruit each day. This is achieveable.

Struggling this week. Perhaps I needed to weigh

Well thinking that the No Weigh Pass was a good idea - now I am not sure. I have struggled this week and for some reason have snacked more t han I should, with TOM due tomorrow I am sure that as per my normal cycle I gain when my period is due. I am fine with the fact that this occurs. I thinking going on those scales is what I need. It does do my head in, I do go a bit mad, I do over analyse it but saying that it does make you accountable.

The lack, of children or a meaningful relationship has always caused me grief - whether I am right or wrong, thanks to my mother I have always put my lack of male attention down to being overweight. I know, I know, this is silly talk. My friend Regan has had her beautiful baby, she has been married for ever and finally has fallen pregnant, we had some lovely chats about this subject - so co-incidentally is my dog groomer and I have always been honest about how hard it is when babies are born. Her little angel arrived yesterday and I have been a blubbering mess ever since, it doesnt help that I have PMS. But saying all this , my weight has been the blame for everything that has gone wrong in my life and I plan to get to that bloody 71 kgs, become a Lifetime Member. My question to myself would be "what are you going to do when you can't blame your weight?". Anyway, tomorrow will be a gain and I deserve a gain. It reinforces my philosophy that I need to be 100% good and nothing even 98% is enough. If I am 100% good and the scales are not kind then I can happily say - well so be it. Anyway, this blog was and is more about me putting my feelings down , dusting myself off and stop feeling so god damn sorry for myself. I have a great job, friends, family and a fabulous dog - what more could I want. Must go but hopefully tomorrow's weigh helps me. Martine

No Weigh Pass used

I don't know how I feel really - I feel good and bad. Can I be both happy and sad ? Attended my Weigh in at WW Lifestyle Centre with my leader Don and used my No Weigh Pass I am pleased that I did this, I didnt want the scales to say a gain and my mind recording this as an unsuccessful week when avoiding emotional eating and turning down cream cakes was a successful one. Whatever peoples views are, it was and is right for me. This week has been a bit weird,I suppose I have been 75% good but saying that when I went to get some milk yesterday I was starving and brought 2 chocolate bars. Not 1 but 2!!!! I kept the wrappers in my bag and tracked them - all 10 points of them. How disgusting. Another lesson for me, and an oldie but a goodie, don't grocery shop when you are starving. Money for the next month is horrendous, my wage hasn't been reviewed in years and so after payment of everything there is little or no money left for food or me - but I have written down a food menu planner for the fortnight - I usually do 1 menu planner and use it for two weeks as I do try to do my grocery shopping fortnightly, with the exception of getting some vegies etc. So there is a lot of eggs, chick peas etc and I am surprised how easily I can do it with the incorporation of legumes. One of the solicitors in my office and I were chatting about money and I was whinging how hard for him to go into work to do stuff when his wife was working, he has offered some regular babysitting jobs on the weekend as his wife is a doctor and it is hard, so for $20 an hour I am happy to babysit or as I call it Nanny work for a few hours, I am going to get him to deposit the money into my christmas club and I won't touch it. I know I would rather be at home relaxing but money is money. I know a lot of people are struggling as well and I have stuff to do at home and next year will need to replace my car - this all cannot be done on the wage I receive. So I am not going out socially for the next 4 w eeks but I can do it - I am by nature very social but there are times when a girl just needs to spend the time at home. My WI on Friday with TTOM due I am not sure how I will go, there is always a possibility of a gain during this period. Anyway, must dash but will post again tomorrow.

Martine

That god it is weigh in day !

Well, all I can say is I have never been so relieved to go to a weigh-in in my life. This week has been really hard. My birthday celebrations just had me losing momentum and then Vincenzo the dog got sick. The positive is that I havent emotionally eaten and have done the "self talk" but probably have over eaten my points. The focus wasn't there this week. The week did have successful moment in it, like the not eating through Vinces' illness, turning down those cakes at work etc. I have made a decision and everyone will have a different point of view, I will go to my WI with Don tonight and chat to him, I have decided to use my no weigh pass because the week actually has been succesful and a real plus in that I overcome the emotional eating but probably overate my portions but if I gain on those scales my head with say "unsuccessful" when really I think I have been successful. I will explain to Don as I don't want the scales to be a sign of my success. I have proven in the past that I can face a gain but think this is good for me, plus my TOM is due next week which will inspire me to be even better. I will do fast track for next week. This weekend is pretty quiet and I plan on some walks and to christen the slow cooker. I am tired at present but if I don't eat enough vegies or fruit I find my energy level decreases - so note to Martine - eat those damn apples on your desk. This will be a long road to goal weight and changing my life around, but it is all a learning experience and I am sure that with each passing week the challenges of emotional eating etc will become easier. This week although hard has allowed me to sit back and realise that I have come a long way in a short time. Martine

This week has been hard

Well this week is a hard one, I am not really sure why. I assume I am tired plus put my foot off the pedal a bit due to the birthday and it has been hard to get back into it. Plus my darling dog Vincenzo aka Vince isn't well and was at the vet's last night for 1.5 hours - so I want to emotionally eat if I could. Those damn apples are on my desk saying - "this is what you should be eating?" but it isn't what I want. To add insult to injury the people in the offices next to ours came in with a plate of cream cakes and bun - they had kitchener buns filled with cream and doused in sugar - I LOVE THEM. But I did say "As much as I would love them, No thank you I am on a diet" and so another non scale victory for me. But it has taken a lot of energy this week to try and keep honest and on track, but a lesson that is learned is that there are times when it is tough, you just have to remind yourself of what you want - for me this week a loss. I really need that weigh in on Friday to get me back on track but I just don't want a gain so have made a WW chocolate drink - 0.5 points instead. I will be happy with a 100 gram loss or stay the same, but I will go to my Weigh in as it keeps me honest. This weekend is going to be a quiet one, so hopefully the weather will be kind and I can have a bit of a long walk with Vince. Have a good day everyone.

I survived the birthday.

Well everyone, I survived the birthday without any tears which was good for me. The issues are being single not getting older ! Anyway, wasn't too bad with the eating but wasn't as excellent as I could have been. Probably a touch of the emotional eating but woke this morning and pulled myself together and did the self-talk and reminded myself of the options I had:-

• Fat and miserable but can eat anything I want !
• Thin and fabulous and mentally great with planned treats.

The answer is always the same, I would rather be thinner. Anyway, today the water intake is dismal so I am needing to act on that and will do the Fast Track for the rest of this week. I have boxed away 2 pairs of pants and a pair of jeans, so that is a good feeling. I just have to remember that I cant have a wardrobe of clothes whilst I am losing weight, a few items that will get flogged to death is probably the wisest option. As a treat, I had a few glasses of my favourite wine - Rockford Alicante and as I had been limiting my alcohol intake it was enjoyable and a real treat. So I am glad that I have really worked on this, although I was always able to say no to a glass of wine - now sometimes when I go out I just don't drink and would rather plan the wine on special occasions. This is a quick post, I needed to get my thoughts down. Although I am a bit dissapointed that I wasnt more in control on the weekend - more the snacking in between meals was the issue - this is all a learning curve isn't it. I just have to remember that special occasions like birthdays, Easter or Christmas is not an excuse to blow the diet.

High Fives all round !

Drum roll please............another 1kg down this week.

Well it is 1.30 in the morning, I have been awake for an hour and can't sleep. Today is my birthday - so happy birthday to me !!! So far so good and I am not emotional. People seem to think that I am anxious about it due to the age thing, that honestly doesn't worry me, it is more the point of looking back at the last 12 months and realising not much has happened.

But onto more happier things. Had Friday off work so Gill and I went out to lunch which was great. Had my weigh in with Don my leader and Sharon happened to be there (another leader I know who has lost a huge amount of weight). She is one of the blogs I follow - although not updated much now due to being a leader but is one of the girls on a facebook group that we email each other daily. Got to my weigh in and the normal questions were asked, as with Weight Watchers at their Lifestyle Centres which are growing more popular each day it is about you and then the weekly topic is discussed. I came to the realisation that I hadn't had any issues this week and was happy and confident to say it was another "perfect" week. Even if the scales are not kind, if you can look yourself in the mirror and say I have been good - then it shouldn't worry how much the scales say you weigh, it eventually catches up. So the last two weeks (for me) have been good losses and I am aware that this week I need to make sure that all things are done perfectly as I am prepared that next weigh in may be small and chances of a gain -after all our bodies are strange things at times.

Don and I discussed the whole mindset thing. I honestly never understood how people lost large amounts of weight. I understand the theory of reducing your food intake, drinking water, tracking and exercising but that is not enough - simply if your mind is not switched on then the weight loss switch at times doesn't work too well as you cave into things when you could say no. I now say no more often, do self-talk and tell everyone (well except family at this point in time) and understand how totally different it is when you are ready to do it and your mind is where it should be.

I suppose as well, I am not embarrassed to sing my own praises as I put 100% into getting myself 50 kilos lighter and it takes effort. The road can be as simple or as hard as I make it. I choose to say that I enjoy it, which I do - experiment with the food and reward myself for all those good things I do - that includes NSV's - non scale victories.

Today I brought a Napolean Perdis lip gloss as a reward for all my NSV's this week and my weight loss, it is a luxury item and for me a reward.

Last week I just a moment where I realised all I had to do was lose 10 lots of 5kg. I use 5kgs, as do most people, as my mini goals. Therefore I only have 10 mini goals to achive - I said to Don today - thats easy. WTF !!!! You know, this is the change in me the most, the focus and determination and as I said to Tania tonight - that I am proud and will sing my own praises because after all if I don't - who will.

On a happier not my jeans and 2 pair of work pants that go with my suits are now unable to be worn to work - they are simply too big which is great. I have had the search for reasonably priced jeans but can't find any that I like the leg and of course can't find my preferred bootleg jeans. Previously my clothes or more to the point - pants were brought a little baggier and now the loss I have had really has made them unwearable.

Anyway, the plan is today to enjoy the day whatever it brings with the promise to myself that next year I am in a happier and better spot both weight wise but emotionally and physically. I have a bunch of cards to open but will do that in the morning - some contain my vouchers for my IPOD.

Hope everyone is doing well - Martine xx

A bit flat today

Hi everyone

I woke up a bit flat this morning, think the approaching birthday might have something to do with it and feel a bit emotional. Saying that, I still remain focused on all things WW so that hasn't been effected by this change in mood. I suppose we think at a certain time in our lives that our lives would be different and I am not exactly where I want to be. But I will pull myself out of this hole and remember my glass half full attitude. This is exactly why I must lose weight, I think sometimes my emotions get the better of me. I am fortunate to have adored friends and family but anyway enough of my drama. Anyway, I must get my act into gear and do some work............Martine xx

My Mojo is well and truly working !

Well ladies, it is 8.52pm on Wednesday night and thought I need to put a post on my blog. All going well since my last post. Yesterday was another great day with another NSV (non-scale victory) to post. As everyone in the entire world knows, I have insomnia and chronic insomnia at that. So from 11.50 pm to about 2.30am to about 3am is a time when I am most stressed as I am trying my damnest to get to sleep and that is when I want to eat. Last night at 1am I woke from my little 10 minute nap and was absolutely starving !!!! Anyway, it was all I could think about and what I did was trying to focus on what I want to achieve and how I am going to feel, look and emotionally and physically be like 50kgs lighter. I did some self talk and really asked myself why I felt like eating. The long and short of it was that I didn't eat and must admit that I was quite chuffed at myself this morning when I woke. Even if I do eat during the night it is always tracked and I thought my god, another non scale victory for me. The NSV's are becoming another valuable tool in my weight loss journey. My friend Tania is the one that made me aware that we put too much emphasis on the scales and the other things we do during a day are just as important. So for me, this was a major step as well I track my NSV's - a bit obsessive I know but I like the feeling of tracking them, that way if the scales are not good I can always look back at the NSV's. My birthday is Saturday which comes with alot of emotions. I don't give a toss that I am about to turn 46 as quite frankly I don't think that I look 46 and without sounding vain, there is nothing I can do about it but being single is hard, but I am lucky to have great and much loved friends. So with the birthday comes a bit of eating which starts Friday lunchtime - I have a RDO day off on Friday - Yippee. Gill and I are going to Panthai at the Pier Hotel for lunch which looks over the Glenelg Beach so I know that menu and will have something stir fried and I will ask for them to stir fry it in little or no oil and will indulge in a glass of wine or too and a latte after. Saturday (the birthday day) Joanne my loved loved bestie is coming over first thing in the morning as my parents live interstate - so I wake up solo and we will go for a coffee etc, lunch I am just having a green salad and a little protein and an apple and then dinner is at Lido at Holdfast Shores and I have looked at their menu and pre-planned what I may have. Sunday is breakfast in the city but that is pretty safe and a few poached eggs on toast and a couple of coffees is the go. I remain focused and have the view that I must stick to the program 100% and with that comes success and as each day goes by with perfectly tracked points, water drunk, NSV's and exercise the more confident and determine I am. My WI day is Friday at 5.20pm and I am hoping the scales record another good loss, I am not going to focus on an amount but just want to secure a loss. After all, I am realistic to know that just because you have had good week the scales don 't know you weigh in on Friday. Anyway, I just want to be able to look at my reflection in a window and not cringe, so for me the fact is I need to focus. The weather in Adelaide has been dismal with rain and lots of wind, the exercise is not happening and I am hoping next week allows me a few more walks. I have asked for Coles Myer Vouchers for my birthday from family and will put it towards my IPOD for the gym or when I walk instead of sensible things like new shoes for work. Must dash it is cold in my study. Martine xx

Thank god a decent loss

Well on Friday - my weigh in day I had a headache all day, obviously a tad nervous about weighing in. I knew that I had done all the right things again this week but with our bodies being complex things you never know how you are going to go. Luckily the scales were kind and I secured a 800 grams loss - for me this is a good loss.

I am amazed that this time around my weigh losses are a lot slower,but I have come to realise that there is nothing that can be done about it, constant losses and if I can maintain my average loss over the overall time frame to 500grams I am happy. The water is going great guns and have measured bottles planted in the fridge at home and make sure I have one with me at all times. My fruit intake is great and that is a NSV for me as I am not the world's best fruit eater. The weekend I did well, went to see my beautiful niece and nephews and took them a Mud Cake but just had a cappuccino at their place, no one even realised I hadnt eaten . I am not in the zone that I can tell family until I am well on the way, but all my friends and bloggers are aware and are of a support. I will deal with it when I am ready and am a good way down the road. As I have said before, with my insomnia my energy levels are quite low but i have noticed the last 3 weeks much more energy and this pleases me no end. If I can get my jobs done at home that I have been wanted to do that will make me feel quite happy. My focus this week is to keep doing what I am doing, I don't need to do anything more but throw in a few extra walks if the rain this week in Adelaide stops. Yesterday had lunch with Tania and Tina (from my blogs I follow and friends) had a meal out. W when we ordered we spoke to the Chef and asked for no mashed potato and a baked potato instead. Of course they didnt have a baked potato, but the Chef was close by and suggested Jasmine Rice with our lamb fillet and vegies. How easy is it ! The WW journey can be as easy or difficult as you want to make it. My issues and WW journey are different to Tania and Tina's as I am single, no kids and really am only responsible for myself and the world's best dog and have decided to focus on the WW road with everything I have, they have husbands, kids, dogs and a house to run. I can say no snacks in the house - but there is just me, for them they have kids but somehow us 3 support each other and just because our lives are different the issues with being overweight is just universal, whether you are young, old, male or female everyone overweight understands other peoples issues. If I have to turn down an invite - like the wine tasting tomorrow then I am happy to do it as weight loss is now my absolute priority. For example yesterday over our skinny Cappuccino's there was an after dinner mint, normally when I was on WW I would have ate that as I would have thought what the heck and not pointed it. I automatically gave it to Tina for her kids. Non Scale Victories like that are also put in my tracker as a reminder that it is not always scale orientated. My birthday is Saturday - a happy and somewhat confronting day for me. I don't give a toss about the age but being single is hard, I am determined that next birthday I am happier, smaller and well down in the double digits as I am sure there is a goddess inside Anyway, this week doing the same and I am sure that the scales will again be kind. Martine x

Another NSV for me

Well today is Thursday and I spent 3/4 of the night awake. I am hoping when I get to my goal weight that my insomnia is somewhat improved because at times it is quite debilitating. I woke this morning, and at 10.19am still am very tired and craved a Farmer's Union Iced coffee and Villi's donut ! But what was great was I was aware that I had these feeling due to being tired and talked myself through it and had my WW pointed breakfast. Another NSV (non scale victory) for me.

Last night did a big walk with my friend Gill. We talked about the WW process and although she is a size 10-12 and tries to understand what you need to do to lose weight, I tried to explain that pointed and watching your food and water intake is only one part of it, exercise must and should be an equally important part. As I am getting older and about to hit another birthday to make myself 46 years young, I realise that between the insomnia and age my weight loss might be a bit slower so really getting as much exercise in and building up the intensity is what is needed. I am accepting of this and what I need to do. I can't say I find WW all that hard and don't feel like I am going without. Of course I would love that piece of baked cheesecake or continental vanilla slice but don't crave it anymore and rather a really healthy and flavoursome meal I have made. Tomorrow is weigh in day with the dear Don and am hoping for big things. I know I have done all I can do this week and am hoping the scales are king. This weekend is a relatively quiet weekend,plan to see my niece and nephews on Saturday and do a lot of work at home earning bonus points plus the wonderdog and I will go for our walks. I am not walking tonight as I have a lot to do at home and consider if I am active at home I am doing the whole incidential exercise thing. Trish and Vic - thanks for the blog awards and I will do my blog awards later today. So overall I am pleased with how I am going, I am realistic enough to know that I cannot put my foot off the pedal and need to keep this focus not just for the interim but for life. I know to get to goal weight may take me 2 years, that is fine and as long as the scales are going down then I am happy. I am fortunate to have support from my online WW girls, the bloggers and friends. Martinex

Friday's weigh in was not fabulous

Hi everyone, I have been going to post this blog since Friday but somehow couldn't work out what to write. As you are aware as it was TOM on Friday I was concerned all week about a gain, had a good week points wise and drank my water etc so thought if I am going to gain it might only be 200-400grams and was surprised as all hell that it was 900 grams. I was a bit (alot) upset and luckily my leader Don is fabulous and talked me though it - he did say that I needed to focus that the week that TOM is due that I might have a gain. Anyway, Don the leader said this was a turning point in my journey. Well you know - it makes me all the more determined and I know by my clothes that I am losing weight. I rang Tania my friend and fellow WW for a little cry and she talked me through it and then I dusted myself off and got back into it. My theory was all I had to do was what I have been doing, eventually it will catch up and really I am sure the gain is purely and simply related to my period. This week the fighting spirit came about. I just got into it - have done my walks, drank my 2 litres of water and tracked like the devil and have been 200% brilliant. I am hoping for a 1.2kg plus weight loss this week and have even walked when I have been exhausted from my insomnia. Today I am tired but am walking my 75 mins with Gill tonight and tomorrow night. The food is good and I am anxious to get my gym program started which is not far way now from opening 15.10.09. realise to get this weight off I need to really dramatically increase the exercise - food alone is not enough. Anyway, this week I am expecting big things and if I am not rewarded with a big loss then it isn't without trying my absolute best and that is all I can ask of myself. Dinner on Sunday with Tina and Tania from WW - both girls are going fabulously so it will be nice to talk about how we are going, any problems and sharing the load. Martine xxx

Weigh in Day tomorrow

Well this has been a strange week. I weighed in on Friday and was annoyed to find I had gained 200 grams, which for me may as well been 2 kilograms as my weight loss is quite slow - but slow and steady wins the race. I know that I put my foot off the pedal slightly for a few days in that I didn't weigh my food or track but did for 3 of the 7 days which I have rewarded myself for those 3 days as previously I would have said I have blown that week and continued to do the wrong thing. What is funny, is that for me a bad week is not tracking or weighing food when previously it was compulsive binge eating. That is a step in the right direction I think. TOM has arrived today so I anticipate another week where there is a possibility I gain - I thought I had dealt quite well with last week's gain in that I didnt stew on it, but saying that I have been compulsively obsessively weighing myself on those damn scales. THEY ARE GOING TO BE PUT IN THE SHED as normally they are a helpful tool, in that they encourage me to do well or if the weight is up, and normally that is just body fluctuation then it makes me try harder but this week has been different- last night I weighed myself 3 times in a hour. This is not good. Anyway, TOM has arrived and I am hoping that I at least secure a 200gram loss and really most women do find their body fluctuates dramatically with TOM so I know it will catch up next week. Overall I have been good, the water has been excellent and although I am living in the toilet - much to the annoyance of my boss, the 2 litres a day are being drunk before I leave for the day. Food is going well and I have a dinner tonight with a friend of mine who goes out with a guy from the USA - actually the tour manager for the rock band Kiss - so we are going for Thai - I have told her (she is a size 6) and has the opposite lot of issues that I do - that I am on a diet and am watching my weight so will have for entree cold rolls and a seafood stir fry with a tiny scoop of rice. My walking partner Gill is back into the walking with me next week and I have been a bit slack with the exercise, so I am pleased to be counting the days down until my gym opens. I have started a plan of the classes I want to try - initially a Yoga class and a body step class, once I get a bit more experienced and fitness increased will try body pump plus want to do a hr of cardio 3 times a week, a class once a week and yoga on Sunday with one day off and perhaps allocate that day around my social schedule. Actually, I am quite excited about planning what I am going to do at the gym, previously when I have attended a gym I actually loved it - the only reason I stopped was because of a male !!! But this new gym is going to be a lot better, my friend Joanne will come along as well but she has different things she wants to do - but we both need to use the weights which I believe is good for increasing the metabolism and toning etc. The week ahead my challenge now that the water aspect is under control is my exericse - the plan is on Monday to Thursday walk with Gill for an hour and 15 minutes each night, get off the tram earlier and walk into work (am trying for 30 minutes) and a 30 minute walk at lunch time. I want to get 2kg loss next week- I know this is a high amount for me but I can do it - I might even fast track my food for the week. Anyway girls, enough of me - I can feel the weight coming off and know my stomach area which is my worst spot is changing shape. I am inspired by my beautiful friend Tania who has been my WW/Diet buddy/weight confidant for a long period, she is doing so well and something has clicked in her head, I do think I have done this too but I am not at the point with the exercise - in that I need to exercise alone at times - when I have to do a walk solo I actually avoid it - but this is changing and that is why I am investing in an IPOD. Anyway, I will post tomorrow - send me positive vibes. I think the food aspect is spot on, the water spot on, the tracking spot on and now the cruical part of this journey - EXERCISE. I am telling myself that EXERCISE EQUALS ENERGY and for me that doesn't sleep this is the key. Take care everyone. Martine xx

2.46pm on a Friday

Yayyyyyyy !!! It is 2.46pm on a Friday, not long to go till the weekend. The weather is fabulous outside and I am hoping that it continues that way so I can have a couple of good walks. My birthday is approaching, yes another !!! I have asked Josie (mum !!) to get me gift vouchers as I think that I might invest with my birthday money a IPOD as discussed previously. Last night did a long walk with Gill for 1 hr and 15 minutes, my left hip and groin area do incur a lot of pain towards the end so must go and see a physio to get it sorted. We have had 3 long walks this week so I am hoping that when I weigh in tonight that it will be good news. I haven't been bad but not fabulous so I think rightly so I may have a gain. I will be upset, of course we say we are not dictated by the scales but we are aren't we? If I am to get to goal and become a LTM of WW then I have to get to 71 kgs. This is doeable (is that a word??) and for the first time I can confidentially say that I think next year I will do that. Anyway, I am at work so I must get back and earn some money for my boss. Have a good weekend.

I am struggling this week

Hi everyone. I am struggling this week for some unknown reason, more to the point my sleeping is appalling. As you may or may not be aware I have chronic insomnia, which is annoying and quite debilitating at times. This week is one of them, as I have been so tired I haven't been my organised self so have gone over points and picked at food. I am sure I may gain on Friday which is devastating but my own fault. A lesson to be learned I say. I have had a couple of really long walk this week, one again last night and one today so hopefully with superb eating I may be able to secure a small loss, somehow I think that is wishful thinking. I weigh in with Don tomorrow night so will chat to him about it all, I think the key is to have meals in the freezer for night, some cereal at work for breakfast (if I sleep in late) and some frozen minestrone soup for lunch if for any of those meals I just cant be bothered. The insomnia is like mid week going out till 3.30am and wake to go to work at 6.30am but doing that 7 days a week - it is shocking. That is why I am determined and am sure that I will get to goal and I am hoping that this helps with my lack of sleep. Some of it is habit and that my brain is in overdrive, I over think too much. Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom. Yesterday was a good eating day, and today will be the same as will tomorrow etc. Will report in tomorrow on my loss.

My Weigh In Results are In

Well everyone, I am a happy camper. After last week's small loss of 200 grams I had put my heart and soul into my week, I am happy to say that I secured a loss of 1.4 kilograms. Yay for me. Don my leader was thrilled as well. It gives me an average of 500 grams a week - I am happy with that, if it is anything above that, well that is good. The water is going well, although yesterday I could have drunk more, so today I have spent the entire day on the toilet - which drives my boss crazy. This week's challenge is to keep up with the water and try and get some exercise in. Saturday my bestie friend and I walked to a beach front cafe, had lunch and walked home so the round trip for 60 minutes. Tonight Gill and I are walking as well so that is another 75 minutes of exercise. Anyway my lovelies, I am focused on the road ahead and just to keep going like I have been. Tania (my friend, WW and blogger) and I have been discussing how different this whole journey of losing weight is, when you are in the right headset. We definitely are. Anyway, I will keep you posted and am really focused for another good week.

Tomorrow is weigh in day - Yippee !!!!

Well I have put my heart and soul into WW this week with the aim to have the best weight loss I can, after all I did the same last week and lost 200 grams but hoping that this week it will all catch up. The home scales are recording a loss of 1.3 kgs so I am hoping that it keeps continuing. Last night in Adelaide it wasn't raining or windy so my friend Gill and I went down to Glenelg and walked along the beach track at Glenelg for an hour and 15 minutes, it felt so good. Hopefully the weather can continue to give me moments where I can walk. Today looks good outside so I am going to try and go for a 30 minute walk at lunchtime. So otherwise, not a lot to report but I am pleased to say all going well. I think you just concentrate on one day and week at a time, weigh in and hopefully score a good weight loss and start again for another week. I am fortunate that I have a great leader and it does make life so much easier. I will report in probably on Saturday morning to let you know of my results. Even if I am have slower weight losses, they all add up after a while and I am determined to keep that mojo in tact and focus on the road ahead. 71 kilos is my goal with an aim to get down to 68 kgs, this is achievable with patience, perserverence and determination. (Note the positive talk, I think the feeling of actually doing the WW program and sticking to it 100% makes such a difference to my mindset)