Days 53 to 58

Sorry I have been missing in action. My home computer is about to die and I have been busy at work. Went to my weigh in on Tuesday, not happy to report a 900 gram gain, normally I get on one particular set of scales, this week they weren't around and not that would make a difference to that extent but I was a bit unhappy but didnt really expect the 1.6 loss the week before, I am sure it is all connected. The thing is, I got back on the horse, and have tracked 100% and been 100% good this week, I am determined to secure a big loss. The new program is going to be introduced at next week's meeting and the meeting after, quite different I believe and am looking forward to seeing if it makes a difference. I am just determined to get to 68 kilograms, perseverance is the key. On Sunday caught up with Kazz, Jo S, Sam and Brian and Phil - husbands of Sam and Jo at the Central Markets Chinatown area. Sam was over from melbourne and these are the WW online girls I know and meet regularly. We sat from 11.30am to 4pm just chatting, it was lovely. Kazz of course is the shining star and has lost 64.2 kilograms and just inspires me everytime I see her. It is always inspirational to see these girls and the support I receive. Well this week has been great, I am so determined to lose 1kg plus and to keep the focus. The exercise needs to happen, it just has to and I wish I was inspired. I love my gym I go to and once I am there, I am happy to do whatever I want to do, it is getting there. My best friend Jo G (I have 6 friends called Jo, so it gets confusing) is away on a cruise with her lovely husband, I miss her like crazy. Last night saw me go to Indochine at Glenelg for Thai, all perfectly pointed and 2 glasses of wine as well, I don't drink much wine now that I am on WW but just adore a good drop, and usually have it on special occasions as a treat. Luckily I have no desire to drink at home by myself. Roll on Tuesday for the new program and a BIG weight loss. Yes I can do this.

Day 52 and yes it is Friday

Well today is day 52, all going well in this neck of the woods. Yesterday in Adelaide it was 31 and quite warm, today it is raining and 17 - go figure. All going well this week, feel really motivated and think it was due to the large 1.6 kg loss last week. I had planned to have this chicken dish for dinner, got home and didn't feel like it and had the risotto from the freezer. So tonight I must eat that chicken dish. The weekend is fast approaching, Vince the wonderdog is going to the groomers, I have nails and hair appointment and on Sunday meeting some girls for lunch which will be nice. Then back to work on Monday. I must take my measurements so will do so after my weigh in next week. This is a pretty boring post but glad things are going well. I think once I get to 10kgs anything I lose from then on will be starting to be significant. Anyway that is all from me for now.

Day 51 - all going well

Well it is Day 51, cant quite believe it and 51 days without sugar in the coffee. Although my morning latte I do have 1 sugar in it as I simply need it. It is surprising what a good weight loss will do for the motivation. The thought that each week you get closer to that goal, I am pleased with myself that I am fairly relaxed about it all. My philosophy is that it is a long journey to get to goal and then another journey on maintenance, being fairly relaxed about it all and not trying to go too over the top is the key for me but ensuring that I track, drink my water and stay within my points. Yesterday's food was perfect and I have saved some point for the weekend. I normally don't drink wine at home by myself but on the weekend thought I might make a yummy dinner on Saturday evening and a glass of Rose to go with it. The exercise needs improvement, that will come. At present I am focused on the daily ritual of tracking, drinking my water and keeping the motivation strong. I am lucky that at present the journey so far is enjoyable. I don't restrict myself, if i want a ice-cream then I have it and track it, same goes for the wine. Not much exciting to report, I did sleep slightly better last night, I think that some nights my mind is not so active, an extra hour makes all the difference. Last night's dinner ended up being frozen fish fillets which I do enjoy and are a quick easy meal. Tonight is Mediterranean Chicken which I have had in the freezer and made up using one of the packet mixes during Winter. Anyway, all good with me and I am eager for Tuesday to come to see how much I have lost this week, fingers crossed all goes well.

Days 44 to 50

Hi everyone Sorry I haven't been around, had a few days off and my home computer is about to die - time to invest in a new one. Tuesday 19/10/10 saw me lose another 500 grams and last night a whopping 1.6 kilograms, so thrilled with that. I am just chipping away and focusing on one day at a time. As you all know, I have been extremely tired, all my blood tests and ECG have come back clear, although my cholesterol level spiked a bit for some unknown reason. So it may be the weight making me so tired in conjunction with the insomnia, another reason why this weight must come off. All good on an emotional level, although at present I am not to bad and trying to focus on the present. This week the aim is to be good again as once you have a big loss, the week after is sometimes a gain is happens. I am enjoying my new meeting, my lovely leader and the WW members as well as my little group. I just know in the next 2 years I will get to goal, it is about the power of positive thinking

Days 38 to 43 - another loss

Well it has been a while.

As you are aware I have been unwell for well over a month now, have been to my GP and had some tests undertaken, so the results should come back tomorrow. So whilst this has been happening the exercise has not been a priority, but saying that I am going to try and do some incidental exercise on my days off (Thursday to Tuesday) and perhaps get back to the gym. I went to WW last night, not sure how I was going as I don't weigh at home and am pleased to say that I don't feel the need or desire to weigh daily, there are simply too many fluctuations during a week and I am happy to be surprised by Maryanne my weigher ! I really believe that if you keep on track and have tracked honestly the scales will be your friend. It also allows me to have a relatively stress free week. Got on those scales last night and lo and behold another 500 grams off, I am happy with a constant 500 gram loss, any loss adds up in the long run. As much as we all would love those 1kg losses unless you are working out 24/7 they are just not realistic. My WW class is a beauty, Tania is always there and doing very well and so I sit with her and the other gang members. It varies from week to week how many we get - anything from 3 to 7. The good thing about the meeting is that it is a successful meeting with members which is great . There are changes in the air at WW with a new points program being introduced, members on the WW site are all upset but the change (which I gather the way the points are calculated are changing). My attitude is embrace the change, perhaps I might find the new system a lot better, don't knock it until you try it. There is a lot of talk that it is a money making scheme - what I fail to understand is why people say that, of course WW is a business, it is not a charity and after all the way we calculate points has been the same way for a long while, you can always calculate the points your old way. So, a bravo to me for being so positive when others have not been. This week I do feel the motivation is stronger than ever, mainly because on Saturday I had a 5th birthday party for a little boy I know - his mother is Greek so you can imagine it is a huge affair, I took my mineral water along with me whilst the others were drinking my favourite wine - Rockford Alicante Bouchet and did partake in a tracked piece of cake, I was pleased with my effort and saying no to various food and drink options empowered me. So, focusing on another good week with perhaps another 500 grams down.

Day 31 to 37 - sorry it has been a while

Well it has been a while, now what has happened. Firstly last week I went to WW and gained 300 grams, not happy but no tracking, and although I am STILL bloody sick which didnt help, if I had tracked I might have lost 300 grams instead of gaining. I haven't had an energy for such a while and constantly feel unwell, so on Saturday I have a GP for a smear test (always fun !) and a blood test to see if there is any reason why I have absolutely no energy. Well as far as exercise goes, that isn't my priority at present, it is simply too hard with me feeling so unwell. It will come as the weight comes off. This week I am concentrating on the tracking and water, that is going well and the coffee without sugar is still going well, although this morning I did have a latte with 2 sugars as I felt I needed it, so one coffee out of 37 days is okay. Have been watching intently the TV and the miners from Chile, it is so uplifting seeing a good news story. The men are so gorgeous, I do like the dark foreign types, for people that have been underground for 68 days, they certainly look good. My father was a miner and my hometown of Broken Hill is a mining town, so what happened in Chile was quite personal. Got a lovely email from an old boyfriend the other day, I am not interested but saying that it is nice to have a man at least be interested. But isn't it always the way, when you like them, they don't like you. This weekend I have a 5th birthday party for a friend of mine's child. They are Greek so you can imagine what it is like. I will bring my mineral water and skip the wine and try to say no to the dessert/birthday cake. Anyway, tonight I am going to go home, cook an omelette for dinner, do some washing and trying to be a bit more active instead of going to bed early. I know the weight doesn't help my energy levels and realise that the more weight I lose, the more energy I will have, it just takes time.

Day 30 and 31 - all going well

Well, days 30 and 31 aren't going to bad. Food all accounted for and tracked, water has been drunk. Still not well and have been going home from work and straight to bed after dinner but hopefully the virus will go soon. This morning whilst sitting on the side of the bed and looking down at my tummy, I can see that I have lost some weight this week, hopefully this week's loss is a good one. Haven't focused on the exercise until I am feeling better, so trying to have a few quiet nights and this weekend in particular, I will just stay around home. So, overall things are going well, this is a pretty boring post but not a lot happening. Trying to keep relaxed about the whole WW thing, it is a long journey and I don't want to get over zealous, just one day at a time.

Day 29 - My first LITTLE gain

Well I went to WW last night, not feeling confident as my period was 12 days overdue. Weighed in and gained 200 grams, I am fine with that really as it is not a large amount and can be made up next week easily. I think the stress I have been under the last few weeks have probably not helped them being over due and menopause starting. The meeting was great, last night's subject was snacks which is not a thing I do a lot of, I never feel hungry between meals, I know they say it is better to eat regularly but if I am not hungry I fail to see why I should. If I plateau out with the weight losses, I can always start. There are some days I do have snacks but it is not everyday. At the meeting I got chatting to a couple of guys who have had remarkable weight losses and it is good to get a male's perspective on things. After the meeting Tania, Tina and myself went to Thai for dinner as a treat. I get so much support from the wonderful girls I go to the meeting with, Tuesdays are now a social outing for me as well as a weight loss meeting. Going to Mawson Lakes has really helped me no end and with the girls as support I am on a winner. This week is about exercise, I am going to try and do as much as I can and go to the gym at night but on the weekends take Vince for a few walks to get the incidental exercise happening. Tania has really inspired me and shown me that exercise can be incorporated via a pedometer, gym and incidental exercise without going over the top. There has to be a balance. This week the challenge at WW is to keep tracking, which I do and drink our water so I intend to accurately record my water intake. I am very focused this week on getting the best possible results at my next weigh in. You know, today my mindset is back to where it should be, I think with my stress levels, illness and period the combo last week didnt help. Today I am pleased to say that I feel as focused as ever. The 5 kgs is in sight. Unfortunately my 4 losses in a row haven't happened so I am back to square one. Karen has suggested I try and say 4 losses out of 5 weeks to incorporate the gain I may well have from my period. I might do that as that is realistic. So the challenge is 4 losses out of 5. Back to square one, but I am determined not to get that bag until I have earned it. So, this week is about water, tracking and exercise. I look forward to reporting a big loss next week. There has been mention of a new WW program, I am willing to embrace any change and see how it goes.

Days 24 to 28

Well, sorry I have been missing in action. Had visitors over from Sydney on Thursday night and unfortunately ill again this week-end. A regular occurrence of late. Yesterday I got stuck into the crackers and peanut butter, not sure how I will go. My period has still not arrived, I am expecting a gain today which will mean no bloody gym bag. I do feel bloated, fingers crossed but then again this is the joys of starting menopause, the sooner menopause arrives, the sooner it is finished. The weekend was relatively quite, food so so, I certainly wasn't bad at all but then I can't say I was good, about 75% good and 25% bad. The goal this week is to get stuck into the exercise in earnest. Tomorrow night, even if it kills me, I am going to go to Zumba and try it out as it does break the routine up a bit. I feel a bit lost at present, I have so many lovely and great friends but they are all in relationships, I feel a bit lost and a bit down - so need to focus on the positives and get my mind into positive territory. As I have said before, this weight loss journey is 90% mental attitude, this week as my routine has been disrupted, my positivity is not where it should be. So tonight, at least I can go to WW - face the scales and once I leave the meeting I feel good. Luckily this week is pretty quiet and I can concentrate on the exercise, I plan to wake each morning at 6am and walk Vince for 30 minutes. That is the plan. I am reminding myself that good things come to those who wait. My turn will come, I am sure. Finally, on a positive note, the sugar in the coffee is going well. I am really starting to enjoy my coffee without sugar. I do think it is really 28 days to break a habit, not 21. Perhaps I can work on a 28 day habit for the gym..........

Day 23 and I am tired

Well today is day 23, I am sipping on my latte WITHOUT sugar and it is getting easier and easier with each day. I do think I might try and eat 1 piece of fruit a day for the next month. I am not a fruit eater, have never been. My basic fruit list is pineapple or berries. So might make that the next challenge. I am tired today but counting the hours down till my boss is back from her holiday, poor love she has had a great holiday in Paris but all good things come to an end. I have visitors arriving today for a few days, I do think that it is nothing I can't manage, foodwise that is and plan to keep doing what I am doing. I must admit once your mindset is in place, things are easier and at the moment I am highly stressed. I have gone off the anti-depressants but really t hink that I need to be one them. My problem is I think I am doing okay and go off them and then after about 3 months, fall back into old habits. Next week, exercise is on my agenda. Definitely going to face my fear and do that bloody Zumba class, I am the only person in the known world or Weight Watchers world that hasn't tried it. So will do that to break the routine. So I think my next two challenges might be exercise related and fruit related. Just have to decide on a reward for achiving the challenge. Not much else happening really. Woke up this morning to Vince the wonderdog staring at me like I am some type of god, so we have ten minutes of cuddles. Being single is hard, it isn't easy but I come home to this little guy who is so excited to see me and makes me feel a millon dollars. Anyway, nothing mindblowing happening.

Day 22

Well, Day 22 is here already. As you saw in last night's post, I am thrilled to say that I have lost 3.2 kilos in three weeks. Last night lost 600 grams and that is great considering I have been unwell all week, stressed with work and my period is now 5 days overdue. Next weigh in I am hoping, or should I say, I will have another loss and that new gym bag will be brought. My focus is to get through this next week, my lovely boss is back on Tuesday from Paris and so things will get back to normal. I have a Trust Account Audit on the 15/10/10, so after that I plan to take some leave and just chill out a bit. So, I have to work hard this week just to keep on track. We have a challenge at WW, we have been all given a tree, each week there is a challenge and depending on how much you lose you get a sticker (or fruit) for the tree. This week's challenge is tracking, so luckily that is something that I do regularly and it keeps me on track. Not much else happening.

Week 3 Weigh In Results

Well, just a quickie. I lost another 600 grams this week which is mighty good considering the stressful week I have had and TTOM is overdue. Fingers crossed that it arrives soon so next weeks is a good one. Next week will be my 4th loss in a row and then I can buy that new gym bag. Post tomorrow

Day 21 and still no sugar

Well, my period is three days overdue, so I am a bit fragile. Weight Watchers tonight, I am not sure how I am going to go, with my period it is a delicate balance but overall I am pleased with my progress. Not much to report really, got some jobs done around home last night in preparation for the visitors arriving. My aunt and uncle are arriving and my aunt, god bless her, is a fanatical cleaner, so just sorted some stuff out and it was a nice feeling to do that. Sorting through stuff which I don't use so am tossing it out. So the plan is this coming week to keep on doing what I am doing. Today is day 21 without sugar and the coffee is getting easier and easier, it depends on what barista makes the coffee but it is a real achievement so I think on day 28 I might reward myself with something like a lipstick etc because it is a habit that has been hard to break. The cold is driving me crazy, but hopefully it just goes away soon. As I have discussed before the losing weight is such a mental thing, this week with the stress of work and being under the weather it has made me think how much we eat our emotions. I am pleased that I got through this relatively unscathed and the fact that I had one blow out and not a weeks worth of blow out. I intend to get into the exercise next week in earnest once the boss is back and once my 4 losses in a row challenge is achieved I will work out an exercise challenge for the month. With something like a challenge for me to attend 4 classes during the month and a challenge regarding my cardio workouts. Anyway, weigh in tonight, I am a tad nervous mainly due to the bloating of my period but overall it has been quite good. My attitude and plan is to take 1 day at a time and that is what I am doing. I am so chuffed that today is day 21 without sugar in my coffee and I plan to focus in earnest next week with the sodium and sugar in my foods. Take care and thank you for reading, it means a lot

Days 18 to 20 -

Well the weekend has been and gone. Got some jobs done around the house, so that is thankfully a few things off the list. Still battling this cold, the boss is away so I am having to keep going to work, so it is getting worse by the day, unfortunately as I work for a sole practitioner I have to keep going. But my boss is great, so I do it for her. Not much else happening, the food is reasonable. Feeling flat, a friend got engaged on the weekend and I am thrilled, I advised her not to make the same mistake as me and waste your time on a guy who is committment phobic, she got rid of the guy and now 12 months later is engaged to a delightful guy, I cried like a baby. I am so glad she took my advice. This is a pretty boring blog today, but not feeling the brightest but mainly due to work pressures that I am finding a bit rugged at present, thankfully this is the last week whilst boss is away.

Day 17 - I am so stressed

Well Day 17 is not bloody fun. I have had quite a stressful time at work the last 24 hours purely trying to deal with a difficult matter whilst my boss is away, yesterday I ate McDonalds for tea and a muffin and a soft serve. I could have ate and ate, luckily on the way home I caught up with Jo J (I have about 6 friends called Jo, it drives me crazy) and had a glass of Rose and a chat to her. This morning I woke up highly emotional, my period is due and that will do it, I am tired and emotionally tired of trying to get things done both at home and work, so had a quick telephone conference with the boss overseas who was delightful as she normally is. So today I did a lot of thinking, and somewhere on someone's blog they made a comment (think it was Bitchcakes blog) that food is not going to take the problem away. I thought of that today and had a salad for lunch and have focused on 1 hour at a time, the success of the story is the binge I had last night, well really not a binge but a bad evening meal, stopped at a bad evening meal and did not continue during the next day. I think to top this all off that I am getting a cold or flu so that can't happen whilst my boss is away. So have got some cold and flu tablets and hoping that they nip it in the bud. So, I am feeling slightly better this afternoon, the fact that I really thought hard about the eating, at lunch time I could have polished off probably a week's worth of points but I didnt. Tonight I am going home to start spring cleaning before my guests arrive next weekend and just focus on keeping myself busy. My boss is back soon so things will get back to normal. There is always going to be stress in my life at various times, I do and must learn how to deal with it. Actually, I am pretty impressed with myself for not turning to food like I normally do.

Day 16 - how quickly the days are going

Well everyone in bloggerland, take marks day 16 without sugar in the coffee, it really depends on who makes the coffee as to how I cope, but it is getting easier and easier with each day passing. Last night I got to the gym, although I was very tired and really as I missed those many weeks it is like starting over again. So did 30 minutes of cardio and my weights program. They had an open date and it was quite busy with the staff in fancy dress costume, thank god I am fairly relaxed there, my view is, and has always been, at least I am there doing my stuff. The plan is to get to the 45 minutes of cardio and then keep increasing the speeds/levels. I really must try and fit in a class at some point, but I think the exercise thing will come purely as the weight comes off. Last night at the gym a buxom blonde had joined, I looked at her and thought god, to look like that. She had an initial instructions on the cross trainer and I overhead that she needed to go back for a proper orientation. Anyway, she got stuck on the cross trainer and needed to re-start so asked me. I thought, god ! I am double your size. Anyway, she asked me what level I was on, I told her but also remind her that I was a lot bigger than her so not as fit, god bless her when this blonde bombshell said to me "god I never even noticed that" and proceeded to tell me how nervous she was, she then pointed to the weights area and said "do you go over there" to which I smiled and said "oh yes, that doesn't bother me". She was suitably impressed, but what the message here is, I thought because this lady looked so great that she would be confident, quite the opposite and there was a little lesson in this. I hate to be judged by my size, this lady probably doesn't want to be judged because of her body, boobs and looks. Left the gym and meet my friend Gill who I hadn't seen for a while, had a latte and by the time I got home it is after 9.15pm, so I couldnt' be bothered eating and had some crackers. No wonder I feel so time poor. Tonight I will get to the gym again and hopefully get home and have a decent meal. I do believe that limiting my sugar intake has helped with my cravings and binges, certainly it has improved but as I try to eat whole foods where possible, and the fact that I am eating all the food groups, overall this is working. My little gang of girls that go to WW, are all loving the fact that we are there supporting each other, certainly I now feel what I am missing and if I can keep this momentum going - and I will - the kilos will be melting away. I am tired and teary today, what is new, hopefully TTOM arrive soon so that I can feel better. Not much else to report. Have a good day

Day 15 and last night's weigh in results !!!!

Drum roll please - another loss of o.6 kilos (making that 2.6 in two weeks). Well, from the beginning - yesterday was a bit of a busy day at work with my boss having a well deserved holiday. Left work and headed to my WW meeting. The week had been good and everything tracked, exercised two days at the gym - which will be increased and water intake increasing. The week had encountered insults from mum and as well my period due shortly - so you never know how you are going to go. Got on the scales and another 600 grams off. I was and am still delighted. You know, I take one day at a time and focus on the fact that these individual days all add up. The girls Tina, Tania, Karen, Jo S and I all lost and Sandy unfortunately couldn't make it this week. It is so good to sit with the girls and we have a coffee (only) after and talk about a variety of subjects, particularly this week our mothers. It is so helpful to have a meeting which is good, a class of people that are doing well and the gang of 6 there by my side. So I have now lost 2 weeks in a row and working on the next week. With my period being anywhere from a 27 to 31 days cycle I know that this week I have to be extra good as well because sometimes even the week after it has finished I can gain. That means that there is only two weeks out of four that I am not having to be extra carefuly because of my cycle. Men don't get this. We have a guy at our meeting that has lost from memory 3o+ kilos and continues to lose 2+ kilos every week. It is good to see that they stay for the meeting and to know that we are all in the same boat. A lady became a life time member, she is a little lady in height and we all agreed that her 11kg loss would be like my 30 kg loss, she would not and did not lose the numbers we do and it has taken 9 months. What is inspiring is the perserverance. To understand that this journey will take a while, it is not a rush. One of the pearls of wisdom from last night's coffee session is the fact that once we get to goal weight, we are certainly not going to have ideal figures. We will have loose skin, the girls with a larger behind may well still have a larger behind. I for one will not have a flat stomach or suddenly turn into Megan Gale (Aussie supermodel). So as you see, after our meetings it is also like a therapy session. So today the focus is on another day and day 15 without sugar in the coffee. I am still being aware of the sugar intake and trying to limit the foods with higher sugar content as it certainly has made me not crave the sugar or want to binge so much. After reading many blogs and some of the comments from a WW group I am involved with it seems a lot of people had been struggling with a lot of people putting that line in the sand but more importantly that they have lost that mindset. It is clear to me that mindset is 90% of the weight loss factor. This is something that during the journey that I need and want to focus on. To remind myself that day 15 has arrived and I have not binged on food or have turned to food when I am emotional. Yay for me.

Day 14 - Second Weigh in Day !!!

Today is my 2nd weigh in day. My period is due in 4 days and I have focused on tracking and doing the right things this week, as I normally should, but being aware that when this time of month comes around, I have to be pretty spot on to secure a loss. I feel I have lost, but that means nothing until I have got on the scales. It is nice to go with the girls to my WW meeting, it is so theraputic and a social event, it is nice that I have a leader that takes an interest in me. I would like to be 6 weeks down the track really, because I think with every kilogram that is lost, the more enthusiasm I have and I am really focused on keeping the mindset strong. I do believe that you get to a point in the journey where the losses are getting to add up to a larger amount and the monentum builds. Last night I didnt leave work till 6.30pm, a day of urgent family law matters, so the gym was given a miss. Ideally I say 3 times a week initially, once the weight comes off, the energy increases, so can the exercise. Baby steps. So last night I sat down and watched the Brownlow Medal Count (for those outside Australia, it is an award ceremony for best player in the Aussie Rules Football league), the men are strictly black tie, the ladies (or WAGS) out do each other. I used the night as a visualisation session, not that i will be going to any black ties soon, but there is nothing like a slim girl , even in a bad dress. So tonight I am off to my meeting for my second weigh in, I will post my loss when I get home. I am now day 14 without sugar, still going strong. Week 3 is about to commence and I am 14 days of good tracked food and water. Yay me. The weeks go so unbelieveably quick, in a way when you are doing any type of weight loss program, that is good, if you are good with all the things you need to be good for (tracking, portion control, water, exercise) then hopefully the weight comes off, each week will be another amount of weigh off my initial amount of 51.5 that I need to lose. I really am interested in keeping my mindset strong, by doing little challenges for myself and rewarding myself with them. My water consumption is not too bad, it is getting easier and although I don't drink all the water I should, each day I drink more. So will report in tonight. Week 3 here I come !

Days 11 - 13 (Sat to Monday). Pat on the back for me !

Well, the weekend has been and gone. I spent the whole day in bed yesterday, had a pretty bad night's sleep and no energy, so no doubt the depression had hit in a bit. I woke up this morning feeling revolting but by the time I got to work I decided I was better. You know, the tactless things Mum said on Friday upset me, but you know that I didnt turn to food as much as I wanted to. I am so enjoying my Weight Watchers class with my beautiful girls and my great leader that putting a loss on the card was more important. The fact I did not turn to food was in itself a minor miracle, but really it is about me doing a lot of thinking and trying to turn a negative to a positive. No doubt when I get to a certain weight, certainly not my goal weight of 71 kgs but more like 85 kgs she will tell me I am too thin, best friend Jo G suggested I say to her at that point, I won the bet !. Made a slow cooker casserole with a packet mix from McCormicks which I will have tonight after the gym. So weight in tomorrow night, my period is due in a few days, so for me any loss is good and I am hoping the scales are kind. So, really everything is going well, week 2 is nearly over and done with and I am now at day 13 without sugar in the coffee, although I can't drink instant anymore. So I am pleased with how this goes, I am also making a concerted effort to refrain from eating any foods with sugar in them (in the first 3 ingredients) on a regular basis. Off to the gym tonight, not that I feel like it, I am not at the point where some girls are where they just are addicted, I enjoy the environment and the feeling after. Below is an excerpt from the newsletter my leader sends out. I think how they describe exercise for us beginners who have no energy is great. Here it is:-

"Exercise is one of those things that once you have done it you feel really energized. In fact the reality is that you need to use energy to gain energy.Some of you may recall that I have mentioned, either in this newsletter or at meetings, the CYCLE OF FITNESS.If you can imagine trying to push a car that has run out of petrol! You exert a terrific amount of energy and force to begin with but after a while as the car gains momentum it appears to be easier. Similarly as you lose a little bit of weight and eat a healthy balanced diet you find a bit more energy and with that energy you can undertake a bit more activity and with that activity you lose a bit more weight, gain more energy and look to do more activity and so on. It takes a little perseverance and effort to get started but once you do I will guarantee you won’t look back"

Cheers Martine x

Day 10 - Didn't eat my emotions

Hi girls Well, there is a bit to post today but will start where I finished off last night. Left work later than expected but had to meet Karen who wanted to give me something, it was all very mysterious, so we meet at McDonald's car park near where I live. I got there later than expected, and Karen was there to meet me and handed over Annette Sym's latest cookbook duly signed. For those living outside Australia, Annette Sym lost quite a bit of weight with Weight Watchers and I think from memory for a time might even been a leader. What she did was publish herself a low fat cookbook with the nutritional values on each recipe, including if you vary a major ingredient - for example it might say Pork and you swap it to Chicken, the nutritional panel will also say chicken. Anyway, they have been a run away success and this is book 7 I think. Karen works/worked with a lady who is Annette's best friend and got a copy signed for me as a gift. I was so so touched that someone other than myself thought of me for a change, instead of the other way around. Anyway, as I knew I wasn't going to get to the gym, I suggested a coffee, as McDonald''s was manic and there was a 20 minute wait for McCafe coffee's we declined but sat down and solved the world's problems. Got home and my aunt rang for a chat, then it was too late for the gym, so heated up a bowl of soup and tried to sleep. When I woke there was a message on facebook from an old boyfriend I dated in my very early twenties, I rang mum this morning, not that I am interested in this guy but it is lovely to think someone is flirting with me. Mum said "does he know about your weight?" to which I replied "trust me Mum, men aren't as obsessed with my weight as you are" to which she replied "Martine, you are wrong". I did advise her he saw me at Christmas. I consequently burst into tears after this but rang Karen as she does understand more than I will say on this blog. My issues with my body and self esteem come from constantly being hounded about my weight, I know I am overweight - I don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand that. I know she thinks she is helping, but my first thought was that I prove her wrong and not lose a pound. Of course, that was a thought for a micro second but I can imagine when I get to goal that I will be too thin. My darling friend Tania has for years advised me that I must address this, I agree but the thing is with my mother I will not win an argument. Weight issues are the only thing Mum and I argue about. To be honest today I was tempted to pig out, to eat a donut but talked myself through it and thought of myself and how much happier I will be thinner. I shudder to think what she will say if I lose the weight and then meet the bloke. Today for lunch I brought myself cold rolls which are low in points and extremely yummy as a treat and will go to the gym tonight even though it is the last thing that I can be bothered doing, I know that I will feel better for it. The tracking is going great guns and as I said to Karen last night, this is the last time I am doing this (ww that is), the next challenge will be maintenance. AND I BELIEVE IT. So today, even though I was upset, wanted to eat all and sundry but the thing is I didnt and that is a major step. All I need to do is focus on one day at a time. Ideally by Christmas if I could lose 10kgs by then I would be happy but as long as the scales are constantly going down that is the main thing. It is not a race. I am proud of myself today as I didnt eat.